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Review by Rrc: The Victims Street

Title: The Victims Street

Author: SkyRiderTDL

Reviewer: rrc_loves_donuts

NOTE FROM REVIEWER: 

I will only review the season 1 of the book (suicide diary).

Description: 4/5

It's a very precise description and very much the kind that you'd see behind the hardcover of a short story. I mainly focus on the description as this is the ultimate deciding point. The description has to be interesting enough to catch the attention of an experienced reader (aka one who has a good choice of books and just doesn't settle for anything and everything).

To be honest, I'm not one to frequently reach for short stories, but there are some times when I'm just tired of hanging on to a long novel and want something just to pass my time with. Your book doesn't need much more information in the description than you've already provided. 

I just find the placing of the statements kind of awkward. 

First you mention, '5 amazing stories in one book' and then, '5 people who unfortunately had their lifes going south'.

The reason I find this awkward is a very logical one. If you ever study the description of a published book, you'd notice something like this format (I'll use a hypothetical book here for better understanding):

First paragraph: (describing the initial matter and then abruptly cutting off with a question.)

Second paragraph: (stating some happenings that don't seem to have a connection with the initial matter until and unless you read the book.)

Last paragraph: (shortest and describes the author's aim.)

Example: 

'The plague that shook the bases of the modern society was back and lethal as ever, killing hundreds by every passing second. This time, they'll need no reporter to inform them of the obvious: the end was near.

The extra miles seem endless for the girl escaping from the epidemic that threatens to make the existence of humankind a myth, while she question herself- how long can she keep convincing her loved ones that the only reason the curse was not affecting her was her high immune power?

The award-winning sci-fi novel by NYC rising author XXX promises yet another thrilling adventure, accompanied by a set of lovable characters as hell descends upon Earth.'

While this has absolutely nothing in common with your book, the point is that the first two paragraphs are concerning the plot of the book while the last is talking about the book's content altogether. 

In your description, the first two sentences describe the plot while suddenly the third precedes the forth line, which, is also about the plot. Just try to do resituate the third line as the last by changing the frame of the fourth line.

Also, if you do not intend to change it according to my suggestions, that's completely fine; just replace 'lifes' with 'lives'.

Grammar: 3/5

Your book is not at all cringe-y but the only problem I've seen concerning grammar is about tense. This is the most common error that happens with almost every author but, I will be honest to say that there's a noticeable tense problem with almost every paragraph. This concerns the point of view, and the past continuous tense you seem to be writing the book in.

Maybe, once you're done with the entire book, you can go back and repeat the sentences out loud until you find the right verb (agreement between verb and tense).

Plot-Holes/Skips: 4.5/5

Although I wouldn't keep in mind any specific plot holes as this is indeed a short story, I will mention the skips. 

The only skip I ever experienced was back when you explained Daniel and Kelly's relationship. As it is, it's hard to fit such huge backstories in small paragraphs. 

Here, as you tried to describe the relation your best, I felt as if I was just missing out on some lines. As the season 1 is a short story, I would suggest keeping it short and simple at first, just stating the relationship, and then filling in between alternative events.

For the pain to be felt, it is necessary to show just how much Kelly cares about her boyfriend. However, if you put all that together, it would seem like a complete filler and a reader will most likely skip it to come to the interesting part.

If you mention bits of the backstory after every dramatic event, it would explain things more.

Realism: 4/5

Everything about this book was very realistic starting from the way Jessica sacrificed her sanity in exchange for a father figure in her children's lives, to Danny clutching onto Olivia after the traumatic experience.

The only thing that seems very unrealistic is the way how Kelly handles the situation and almost everything about the doctor. I get it, Kelly may be handling her pain differently but it's so weird that although Kelly has a whole lot of paragraphs in her perspective showing how much she loved Danny, none of it is shown after he dies. 

Also, the moat unrealistic moment was when Olivia came back from her therapy session to find that Kelly was informed of her choice. I mean, I get it, she's family, but information like this is very confidential and there is no doctor that is allowed to share such information. All in all, post trauma-Kelly is very unrealistic.

Also, the hand written diary entries (pictures) seem a bit awkward.

Writing Style: 5/5

This is where your real talent shines. I can't state how beautifully you have explained the pain of every character. This is just the thing that overcomes the others faults in the book. The very way that you've described the raw emotions is very realistic and darkly beautiful. I'd rant about it some more, but that would be elaborating the same thing. It's just, as funny as it is, all of the previous books that I've reviewed have made me cry, and yours is not an exception.

Ending: [no score]

You may notice that I'm not rating this. That's because the ending was quite what it had to be. Now, these are just extra comments and weird things that I expected but knew that I wasn't gonna get. 

See, I'm totally satisfied with the ending that you provided but, my stupid, over-analysing expected something along the following.

Kelly is so, so quiet about the incident and is just set on helping Olivia that it almost seems like she's helping her best friend before she leaves her.

You know what would be a veeeeeeery cliff-hanger kind of end? 

Olivia coming back from the session and finding Kelly had attempted suicide and succeeded at it. Bam.

*crickets chirping* *author face palms*

OVERALL SCORE: 20.5/25

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I hope you find my review helpful and that I didn't offend you in any way!