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Review by Danielle: Scarlet

Title: Scarlet

Author: Elf-King

Reviewer: pluviophile_bookworm

Summary: 5/5

This summary is very intriguing, and provides just enough information to hook me to read the story. It sounds mysterious and dangerous, this world you've created, just from a few sentences.

I love that you start off with a dangerous-sounding quote from the book; it really catches attention and causes you to want to check the book out. 

Also, your cover is amazing. It's mysterious, sci-fi looking, and just all-around great. Good choice!

Grammar: 4.5/5

I found very few mistakes in this book. The ones that I did find were almost all related to dialogue in some way. Here's an example:

"Here, River." Rose said, handing her an extra piece. (Chapter 8)

Now, you probably already know what's wrong with this and simply forgot to fix it. But in case you don't, look at the text in the quotations. There's a period there, which means the end of a sentence. So why is a verb still placed after the quotation?

This could be fixed either of two ways. The first way is to simply replace the period with a comma. 

"Here, River," Rose said, handing her an extra piece.

The second way would be to take out the verb pertaining to the dialogue and leave the period as it is. 

"Here, River." Rose handed her an extra piece.  

The few mistakes I found were just simple things like that. Things that can easily be fixed with an review and edit of the chapter. 

Writing Style: 4/5

I personally enjoyed your writing style quite a bit. It gave us a wide range of explanation into the past, present, and expectations for the future. 

However, with all the flashbacks, it could sometimes be hard to discern which era I was reading about. I didn't quite register that I was reading about what happened quite a while ago until partway through the chapter. 

These developments, although providing opportunity for a great backstory, made the story a little bit choppy and harder to understand. I understand that the switching back and forth was a vital part of your story, but it still makes it somewhat confusing to read. 

My best suggestion? Start each newly changed chapter with something totally different from the end of the last one; maybe even put a reminder of what era we're in at the top of the chapter. I noticed that you put them in the chapter titles, but few people think to study the chapter titles when reading a new book.

Overall, though, I think your personal writing style is great; it's simply the way in which you wrote this particular book that makes it harder to understand. 

Character Development: 4.5/5

This one is a bit harder. We see a lot of Scarlet's emotions: how she feels when she's joyful, heartbroken, furious, melancholy, the whole shebang. That's fantastic for the main character!

But I do want to see some of the same development in the more minor characters, like Rose, Ambar, and River. You've given us the sweet, kind younger sister, the tense, calm rebel leader, and the shy, quiet healer. I'd like to look at them in more detail. 

Let's start with Ambar. She's a classic Katniss Everdeen: calm, cool even under fire, and a leader through and through. I like that we can see some of her confusion and anxiety about her role, and how tense she normally is. But what about other times? I'd love to see her abandon her usual caution on the battle field, avenging deaths and fighting fiercely. What happens when she falls in love? Could she already have a secret lover? What about when she's sad? When a family member or friend is killed? I want to see underneath her strong façade even more. 

Rose, on the other hand, is an anomaly. She's sweet and compassionate, and I would expect her to be a healer or take on some other such kindly job—to become a common Primrose Everdeen. Nope. She's with Cody and Scarlet, to the point of her own major injury, and yet she doesn't complain. She's incredibly brave. You did a fantastic job making her into a great character. But what gives her strength? Is it the rebellion in her? Would she be better at fighting or healing? What goes on in her mind underneath her compassion? I would really enjoy slowly seeing even more little things revealed in her. 

River, too, is an unexpected character. A beauty, who has many boys falling for her, and yet she's hardly aware. Shy, and quiet, yet popular in her friends anyway. Humble and a healer, but also brave, intelligent, and quite the fighter. In short, River is a total contradiction to any stereotype, and I love her. She's definitely my favorite character. I would, however, like to see underneath her quiet, humble nature. Does she ever fall apart when she's alone? Has her heart been taken already? Can she ever be calculating? You've brought her farther than any other character in defying stereotypes, and now I would love to see the rest of her underneath her quiet strength. 

Plot Uniqueness: 3/5

The way I see it, most dystopian novels are about a group of people rebelling against some form of oppression. Your novel does indeed center in that, but there are many things about it that aren't nearly as cliché.

For example, how the villain is someone young, beautiful, and intelligent. It seems like this is rarely the case in dystopian novels. Also, that the villain dwelt among the rebels for a time, and actually seemed quite harmless. I knew that Nylena was evil, from the chapters in the present, but if I'd been reading the past chapters alone? I'd probably not have suspected Nylena much, at least not in the beginning. 

I also like that your characters don't have incredibly strong, fancy powers (at least as of the moment), or undefeatable intelligence and strength. You made them seem fairly normal, and even pretty relatable. That's something that makes reading a lot more interesting. 

You do have a war going on, with high-tech, futuristic weapons, and a shunning society to the rebels. These things are fairly cliché for dystopian novels, but you did a good job writing it into your own style. You truly made a good story out of an overused plot, and I respect that. 

OVERALL SCORE: 21/25

This is a great example of a somewhat cliché plot that has been turned into a fantastic book. I truly enjoyed reading it, I think with some editing, this could be the next published book off Wattpad. Great job!