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Review by Rrc: For His Sake

Title: For His Sake

Author: lily97000

Reviewer: rrc_loves_donuts

Grammar: [not rated]

I know that you asked me to not focus on the grammar, but there's this small thing that I wanted to mention.

You have a very wide set of vocabulary, using beautiful words. However there's this one punctuation problem of '!!?' that kind of ruins everything. Your book is currently dripping in exclamation marks, even if they are not to be used there. So, the main reason I picked this error out is that, sometimes (most of the time) when you mistake a question mark for an exclamation mark or vice versa, the whole vibe changes. 

For example:

"What!" I asked.

Is completely different to: 

"What?!" I asked.

If I were the type of reader to imagine the conversations in my head as I read, then those two dialogues would've sounded completely different. I just wanted to state that.

Description/Summary: 3/5

While the extract you used for your description is the main plot point of your book, it still seems very amateur and not something that you'd find on a published book.

I'd suggest you to keep the extract, but still have a small paragraph below it. For example: 

'When Emily agrees to help her best friend, she didn't think that it would end up with her walking down the aisle wearing a wedding dress. As she gets lost amidst her unrequited feelings and a love triangle, she wonders if she'll end up losing all of herself just for his sake.'

Also, the last line in the extract:

"Because this is the only way that I can get off with this marriage thing, and can have my love, Lara."

This line just concludes everything and lets the reader know that it's the same cliché plot. Everyone knows what'll happen after this. 

It just doesn't do justice to your book. You have to end it with something that makes the readers go, "What the frigging carrots is happening?". This curiosity in the end is the most effective thing that'll lure readers in.

Also, the last paragraph that you provided gives away too much of materialistic information. You have to give the readers something, all the while giving them nothing and letting them drown in questions.

Plot: 4/5

Although I wouldn't sugar coat it saying that I haven't seen the same plot hundreds of time on Wattpad, I will say that yours is the only one where the characters don't realize their love in a single week, and that is what keeps it interesting. 

I absolutely love that it's slow paced and realistic.

I think, till now, Lara's revelation is the best plot twist ever included.

Character Development: 8.5/10

Now, this is the section that you asked me to focus on.

Lily and Eddie's characters are the most considerately constructed. Even though I find it hard to believe Lily when she does things that hurt her heart, I get what a friendship of 20 years would do to you.