Review by Nathan: Pressed Between the Pages

58 5 11
                                    

Title: Pressed Between the Pages

Author: W41k3r_19049

Reviewer: NathanRound


Quick note from reviewer: 

Just a quick note: I modified the marking scheme to best tailor your poetry. For this reason, I will not focus on plot and character building. Your final score will also be out of 20 instead of 25. However, don't pay too much attention to the score. 


Summary: 4/5

The start of your summary, in itself, is like a poem. It's a wonderful introduction to your collection of poems. You try to convey how little and how much our words can create and express our feelings as well as putting forward the themes and topics your poetry contains. Initially, I wasn't entirely sure how to mark your summary as generally, poetry summaries tend to differ from traditional ones found on novels. But you did a great job nevertheless.


Grammar: 2.5/5

Some good things happening here. However, the main issue is that some of your sentences don't make any sense. This is mainly down to the fact that you shift to different tenses in your poetry and you seem to do it frequently in order to make you stanzas rhyme. It just doesn't work and leaves some of your poems looking a little messy. Below are some examples:

'If you think I didn't knew,' this is incorrect. It should be 'if you think I didn't know."

'Every memory except your has fade.' This line simply doesn't make sense. It should look something like this: 'Every memory except yours has faded.'

'And now I try my best to lit.' 'Lit' is incorrect in this line. It should be 'And now I try my best to light.'

Tense shifting happened a lot in your poem 'You are gravely mistaken.' You may want to rework your poem to avoid these errors.

Furthermore, some of your lines seem to neglect certain words which consequently makes them nonsensical. Here's some examples:

'Countless bodies of unknown,' this sentence doesn't exactly work. 'Countless bodies of the unknown,' or 'Countless unknown bodies' would work better.

'and run home go rest,' I'm not entirely sure what you were trying to say in this line. But it simply doesn't make any sense.

I understand that you were trying to incorporate rhyming couplets in your poetry, but shifting tenses, and neglecting certain words which give your sentence meaning, is not the way to go about it.


Writing Style: 3/5

I'm seeing some potential. You use some great vocabulary words and the language used does put forward your themes very well, as well as creating some nice imagery to go along with them. But the mistakes I discussed previously, do mess with the flow of your poetry as well as your writing style.


Uniqueness: 4/5

You deal with some relatable and very real themes. They are rather beautiful and disturbing at times (in a good way), and you do succeed in creating empathy in your readers. Some themes you used are dealt with in many forms of poetry already, but this isn't necessarily a bad thing. You take your own unique spin on popularly discussed themes which is something you should be praised for.


OVERALL SCORE: 13.5/20

I hoped this review helped, just remember to go through your work and correct those pesky mistakes as well as sorting out your tenses. Good luck. 


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