Learning to trust: My journal

Change

 November 7, 2018

 Today I was thinking a lot about the stupid time change that happened this weekend. I absolutely hate it because it totally messes me up. Sleep is harder than it already is which creates more anxiety for me. The thing is it's all triggered by a change in the time. It's as simple as that. Change. I hate things changing that I have no control of. I hate it when someone I love goes away or someone close to me moves to a new place. Pretty much I hate having to adjust to something that I'm not used to. There are a couple of exception to this though. I absolutely love to redecorate my room and move it around! It is actually one of my favourite things to do. But that is something that I have control over. I choose what it looks like and where everything goes, NOT someone else. 

 Change hasn't been something that works well with me. When I was little, I would cry and cry if something unexpectedly changed in our house. As I grew up then it was more that I would angry or really sad when something changed with my friends or at school, even at church. Hitting teen years wasn't good either because for all f you who have either gone through the teen years or are going through it, you know how your world sometimes flips upside down and leaves you hanging. I have had a lot of these kinds of experiences. First my best friend leaves me, then I can hardly make new friends, camp was a lot of leaps of faith, my world changing and shifting like crazy. Now school and all the many things that come along with it. Some of you might be wondering how in the world I made it through! Well I don't know how, if it wasn't for my very best friend, GOD!

 He never changes. Always there with me, holding my hand. He never leaves me, always loves me. Through every dark valley and storm. He walks right beside me. Gives me hope when I'm hopeless. Listens when I speak. He is my constant. He is my best friend and father all in one. No matter how bad I mess up, he never leaves me and forgives without hesitation. I need him through every part of my day. He is always there. He never changes. 

 "Give thanks to the Lord of lords: His love endures forever." Psalm 136:3

 -Emmers