Learning to trust: My journal

Saying Goodbye

 January 6, 2019

 Hi Y'all! I'm back! That also means that I am back at school, sadly. So my Christmas break was really amazing. I got to see a lot of people I hadn't seen in what seemed like forever and eat a ton of food. But in amungst all of the fun and friends I had to say Goodbyes that came too soon. 

 So the first Goodbye that was really hard was finding out that my beloved LDP leader, Jessalyn, isn't coming back to camp this summer. Everyone that had read a good chunk of this book know how much she's done for me and how much she means to me. So finding out she won't be at camp this next summer was very hard for me. I asked myself and God a lot of questions about how I am going to make it through summer without her there. She's the one I go to when I'm having really bad anxiety and she is just one of those people that I can talk to about my problems. Now I don't have that person there anymore. It took me a little while to just trust that God has this under control and he knows what he's doing. I'm also happy that Jessalyn is going to be taking some time for herself to recharge since going from University to camp and back to University is very hard. 

 The second hard Goodbye was yesterday. My sister is going to Bible College about an hour and a half away from home and we dropped her off yesterday. I am very excited for her to do the four month Disciplship training school but with being so close to my sister and leaving her I had a hard time saying Goodbye yesterday. I told her I was going to cry but I didn't expect to cry so hard and long. I could hardly speak yesterday when we said our last Goodbyes. I know God will take care of her and she's going to be coming home most weekends but I haven't been that far away from my sister for that long ever in my life. It's slightly scary and I feel a little lonely without her at home. Luckily, in this day and age we have amazing technology that allow me and my sister to talk "face to face" from very far away. I will miss her like crazy but I am going to have to allow God take control of my feelings and thoughts so that I can trust him that my sister will be ok. 

 My break was amazing but also hard and sad at the same time. But I guess that's how life works and I can't take the pain of saying Goodbye away. 

 -Emmers