Learning to trust: My journal

I don't have to be perfect

 September 13, 2019

 Hi y'all! So yesterday I was in Jazz choir and my teacher was trying to figure out who to give solo's too in some of our songs. I love doing solo's but don't usually get picked because, well my teacher has favourites and there are so many others that have better voices for solo's (Or so my teacher thinks). So I tried out for all the solo's but everyone else was picked and I was kind of just left there. Then my teacher realized that one of the girls had like 3 solo's and I didn't even have one. So she gave me that girl's solo in the song "True Colors". I'm happy to have a solo but it doesn't feel like MY solo. It still feels like that other girl's solo. This whole situation left me feeling very self conscious about my voice. I felt like I wasn't good enough and that I would never be wanted in the music world. I felt I wasn't perfect. On the whole bus ride home I sat there, thinking I could somehow prove that I am a really good singer, maybe show my teacher that I have the voice to actually be picked for a solo. 

 I got home and I had the whole house to myself. So I put my iPod on the docking station and turned the sound way up. I was listening to Danny Gokey's song "No Pressure" when it hit me, I have no pressure to be perfect. I don't need to be perfect. I am perfect in God's eyes. His view of me is the only one that matters. My view of myself doesn't even matter. God says I am his child. He made me perfect. I am his masterpiece. He loves me. Knowing this gives me reassurance that God gave me a unique voice for a specific reason. Even if no one asks "Who was that singing? She has such a perfect voice!" (All though that's like the biggest compliment that a singer could get. You singers will know what I'm talking about). 

 So the whole point of this post is that we shouldn't be so concerned about what people think of us. If we don't get that solo, that lead role in the play, the perfect grades or get to be the captain of the soccer team, God loves you the same he did the second before. There is no pressure to be perfect because God has made you just the way he wants and in his eyes, that's perfect. 

 -Emmers