Learning to trust: My journal

My secret

 January 21, 2019

 Hi everyone! Happy Monday, I hope. Today I'm sharing a bit about my life that most people don't know or see. I am an introvert and for some of you who know me will be very surprised because I talk a lot. The thing is that I do like to talk but I'm not always like that. I'm actually considerably quiet when I need to or want to be. I actually enjoy being quiet. Just having space to think for a while. That's a lot of why I write on here. I have so many ideas swirling around in my head that I just have to get them out of there somehow. I daydream a lot and some of my stories actually started out as just daydreams or are remakes of a daydream I'm creating right now. Like my book "Life" started out as a daydream but then I changed it into something a bit more interesting. I'm currently creating that daydream in my head but nobody knows about it.

 My parents have no idea how much I actually daydream. I daydream in the car, on the bus to school, while I'm trying to sleep, sometimes in class (that should really stop) and even while I sit in my room alone painting or working on some sort of project. I daydream regularly, probably because I don't really play anymore. This is a way for me to "play" inside my head. The great thing is that I don't need anything but my imagination and some space to just think. 

 Sometimes I wonder why I was made to be an introvert. Why do people have to tire me out? I love being with my friends but sometimes I'm just done with people. This weekend was a good example of that. Yesterday I was at church and we were having a youth fundraising lunch so I had to help clean up after and all that. It was fun just hanging out with my friends but when I got home I completely crashed. I felt exhausted and like my head was so full of things. My brain couldn't process all that was happening that afternoon. I was overwhelmed by all the noises and people and all the tasks that I had to do. My introvert side was yelling at me to take a much needed break. Then I remembered that my parents wanted to invite my cousins over for the evening. I actually told my mom that I didn't feel very good (I wasn't anyways) and that I just wanted to do nothing. It actually worked and I was very relieved. 

 My mom isn't very introverted. She loves to do things with people on the weekends and doesn't get tired from being with people for so long. So I don't know how to tell her that I'm and introvert that has some extrovert in her. I can't have one thing after the other all weekend. I will crash if that happens. I need time to just sit and chill for a while. Even an hour or two is good but not enough me time is hard. 

 If you guys want to learn more about being introverted and how to deal with all the struggles attached with it, I will be writing a book on being introverted (and a little bit about being extroverted too). I will start publishing it soon I hope so look for it on my account!

 -Emmers