The Only Reason- 5SOS Little Sister

Chapter 45

It was time for Jack to leave, so we drove him to the airport. I held in my tears the whole way there, but I knew as soon as we got there, I would break down. Mikey dropped Jack, the other boys, and me off at the door to go park the car. Jack and I held hands as we walked through the airport to security. The person who was riding the airplane - Jack -  was allowed to take one person through security to wait with them and be there when they board the plane. And that person was me. The boys agreed to wait outside security for me until he boarded the plane. Jack hugged all the boys, and we went through security, putting everything in the little plastic box. I slipped back on my shoes once we were through and grabbed Jacks hand again. We checked his in his bag and his carry on backpack. Once that was finished we decided to walk around a bit after we gound his gate. He saw a little coffee shop and pratically pulled my arm out of its socket running to it. "Want anything baby girl?" He asked as he pulled out his wallet. I smiled and shook my head. I felt nauseous. I wanted to throw up and cry. I didn't want him to leave, but I knew he had to. He got a coffee and we went to sit down because there was about half an hour before he had to leave. He finished his coffee and I got up to throw it away for him. When I came back he opened his arms and I sat on his lap and held him as tight as I could. We didn't move. Not once. The time went by way to fast.

Then they called his plane. We stood up and he slung his backpack over his shoulder. I clung to his arm as we walked to his gate. He bent down on one knee and grabbed my hands.

"Listen to me Cookie, the boys will take good care of you and you know that. They love you to death which is why you'll be okay, alright? You'll be okay." A tear fell from my eye. Then another. And another. I didn't make a noise when he stood back up. I threw my arms around him.

"I love you so much Jack I love you I do I love you." I cried. He knew I loved his clothes, so took off his sweatshirt and gave it to me. He'd probably want it later, but I kept it and put it on anyways, breathing in his scent.

"I love you too baby girl. I'll be back soon, I promise." He kissed my forehead for a long time then went to give the lady his ticket. He went to the walkway that leads to the plane and turned around, walking backwards, we waved to each other until he was out of sight. Tears were silently flowing down my face as I turned to walk back to my boys. I walked back through security and all the boys immediately stood up and walked over to me. Calum got to me first and pulled me in for a hug.

"You okay Cookie?" He rubbed my shoulders. I pulled away and wiped my face with Jacks oversized sweatshirt.

"Um yeah im fine. Can we go now?" He nodded and held my hand as we went to the car, the tears silently fell down my face, collecting under my chin. They were all watching me as we went to the car. I felt so little. So tiny in my oversized sweatshirt that covered my shorts so it looked like I had no pants. We got to the car and Cal opened the door and climbed in first, then me, then Luke. Ash started the car and as drove away from the airport, I looked out the back window. We hit the highway and I sat back in my seat and put my hands in my face to try to really let all the tears out. I tried to do it without making any noise, but as soon as my hands hit my face, I started sobbing. Both Cal and Luke reached for me but I flinched away from them both. I tucked my knees up to my chest and squeezed them to me. Cal touched my arm again but I moved away. A couple seconds later he pulled me into his lap and I let him this time.

*Calums POV*

As soon as she got in my lap she flung her arms around me and cried into my neck. I lightly rubber her back and tried to calm her down. I felt her tears trickle down my neck and gather at the top of my sweatshirt. All that was coming out were these fast, breathless, hiccup sobs and it sounded like she couldn't breathe.  Michael turned around from the passenger seat, Luke looked over at me worridly, and Ash looked back at us through the little mirror. I knew she had pretty bad asthma so she needed to breathe. I pulled her face out of my neck so she would look at me. Michael was still turned around watching her carefully.

"Brooke, you gotta breathe, okay? You have to try." I wiped her face and she shut her eyes. Her breathing returned to normal and she opened her eyes to look at me. We had to try to make her feel better somehow so she wouldn't start crying again. I pulled up the hood of Jacks sweatshirt she had on and pulled the strings so the little hole was only showing her nose. I heard her laugh a little. She pulled the strings back to normal and put my hood up.

"Is it all good in the hood Cal?" She smiled. "Get it? Because your sweatshirt hood? And your name Hood?" I rolled my eyes but smiled.

"Yes Cookie I get it. Im not stupid you know." I laughed.

"You did drop out of school though." She shot back.

"WAIT!" Luke screamed. We both looked at him. "BROOKES LEFT EYE IS BROWN AND HE RIGHT EYE IS BLUE! SO IF SHE SAT BETWEEN US SHED BE OUR LOVE CHILD CALUM!" Brookes cheeks got a little red. I put her between us and made Michael take our picture. He gave Lukes phone back and we looked at it. We all were covering our mouths with our hands and all our heads were smushed together. Cookies phon buzzed and she pulled it out.

"@Calum5sos and mines love child aka @Brookiecookie"

I shook my head at him me lughed slightly as we pulled into the driveway. Ashton parked and got our really fast, opening my side door. I dramatically gasped.

"Well thankyou Ashton my good sir how polite of you!" I said as I swung my legs out.

"That was for Brooke not you asshole." He rolled his eyes at me.

"Asshole? Oh no no no." I hoped out of the car and swung my leg into his balls and he immediately bent over in pain. I patted his back and went into the house. Everyone settled into the living room except Brooke. She went up to her room. I could tell that we all wanted to go upstairs to make sure she was okay, but that was the problem. She wasn't okay and she wouldn't be for a while. Michael turned on his video game but muted and handed me a controller. A while later we heard a scream and a crash come from upstairs. We looked at each other and jumped up and ran upstairs. I opened the door, and there stood Brooke in the middle of the room sobbing with her arms around her stomach. I saw glass over in the corner of the room and I was scared she cut herself. Mikey went over and wrapped his arms around her.

*Brookes POV*

Why do I feel like this? I feel like I have no one I can talk to. I feel like im always alone. No matter who im with, no matter what im doing, no matter where I am, I always feel alone. It never gets better. The boys  stopped my therapy because I was getting happier. Now, I know the only reason I felt like that was because I pushed all my problems aside. I tried to forget about it, to let it go. All my anxiety, my depression, all of it. I just shoved it out of the way. But now I realise that its no where near gone. It felt like it was all doubling. My anxiety was kicking in. I could feel it building up inside.

They say that if you're afraid of heights, you go to the top of the highest building over and over, and you'll eventually get over it. Anxiety was much different. If you have a fear of heights, matter how many times you go to the top of the building. No matter how many times you look down, it doesn't go away. It doesn't get better. Some people compare anxiety with fear. People who actually have anxiety know that its a very different case. Its much worse than fear. Much, much worse. You feel like you're trapped in a dark corner and no matter what you do,  you cant find the ladder to get out.

Now im realising just how bad this is. I want to go to one of my boys, I really do, but im scared that they'll think im over reacting.

The thing is, no one wants to accept the fact that they have a problem. No one wants to accept the fact that they need help.

I picked up the glass cup on my nightstand and slammed it at my wall as I started to sob. The boys ran in and Mikey walked over to me, pulling me to him.

Now I know this for a fact.

I need help.

-

hola mah bitches I didnt want to wait to upload this

I feel like I dont have to explain myself for this chapter

I just write how I feel

sorry it was short and sad and sucked -Kylee