You are mine ~ Bennoda ✔️

••• 45 journals •••

Warning: blood, cuts (not self inflicted) and mention of suicide.

I knew it. It was her all along! Why didn't Mike believe me?! Why couldn't he believe me?! it was Cora!

"Hi Chazzy. You must have so many questions right now. Go on, ask away. After that I'll get to ask mine." She said.

I was on the edge of breaking down "wh-why are you doing this?"

She punched my face hard, I flinched. "Don't ask me stupid questions Chester. That's what you get when you ask stupid things."

"J-just.. I just wanna know... why me?"

She hit me again "because! Chester. It's your fault that Mike  is confused."

"What do you mean confused?" I asked. I was the opposite of calm right now, I was freaking the fuck out!

"He thinks he's some disgusting fag because of you!" She spat as she punched my nose, making it bleed. I yelled out in pain. She just laughed, she laughed as I was in pain.

"Well, I guess it's my turn to ask things now, and You will answer honestly, if you don't, bad things happen."

She turned around to a metal table with all sorts of surgical supplies, liquids, rags, Knives, razorblades and tools. I tried to get out of the chair, but that made a lot of noise, She turned around swiftly and held a knife against my throat "try and get away and I'll end you."

My heart was beating rapidly. I'm going to die here... she's gonna kill me..

She grabbed a fold-up chair and sat across me. She grabbed a knife and lightly dragged it over my leg, not cutting in it. "now, Chester. Tell me about your father's friend."

"W-why.." I choked out, "It's my turn to ask, Chester!" She said as she dragged the knife over my jeans, making it rip, then she dragged it over my skin, making a cut in my leg. I screamed out.

She just laughed as I screamed out in pain, then she grabbed something else from the table, it was one of those liquids she had... without any warning, she poured it over the wound and the wound started burning and prickling uncontrollably, I yelled out a sob "please, stop! Please!"

"I bet that's something you had to yell a lot in your pathetic existence." She smiled, she put on a whiny, mocking voice "dad! Please stop! Please don't hit me!.." she chuckled "Stop you're hurting me!" She mocked again. Then she pouted and mocked again "boohoo, such a bad bad life for chazzy. Poor you."

"Fuck you!" I hissed through gritted teeth. She looked at me and raised an eyebrow "what the fuck was that?". I started pulling at the ropes aggressively again, I had to get out of here. She said "what the fuck did I say about getting away?!" She started slashing the knife on my leg, I screamed as blood poured down. "You know what, since you try to get away so much, I'm gonna have to keep you somewhere else."

She looked at a chair that had restraints around the neck, head, arms, legs and waist. I gulped, but whilst I was busy staring at it, she held a rag in front of my face again, and again, the same chemically smell entered my nostrils.

Mike's PoV, the present.

"Mike, please, driving around town all day won't help." Dave sighed. I started shaking again "I-I have to try.." "I know you miss him man, We all miss him. But, we can't do much about it.." Dave said, I rubbed my eyes as tears flooded down again "I Know.. I-I just want him to come back.. I-it's my fault Dave.."

"How could this possibly be your fault?" Dave asked. I shook my head "I got into a fight with him, the fight was my fault and he, he left the house because of me.." I cried out. Dave placed a hand on my shoulder "Mike you didn't know that he'd disappear, or would get kidnapped... it's not your fault."

I just nodded. It was my fault, but I was too tired to have this argument with Dave. We got to my house and I left his car, waving goodbye.

I entered the house, which was very very quiet without Chester. I missed hearing him sing and laugh every day. I sighed deeply as I realized it was nearly new year. I hoped that I'd have him back before new year.

I searched everything in our room, and ended up finding notes, all of them threatening Chester... I remember how I called him paranoid every time he said someone was out to get him.. why didn't I believe him? God, why?

I sat down on the edge of our bed.. that's right our bed, the bed that I'm supposed to share with him. I'd do anything to have him back.

The police told me that I should give them any evidence I can find. So I'd drop off the notes. I continued looking and stumbled across Chester's old journals, something that he never ever wanted anyone to read or touch. I don't even know why he kept them.

I flipped to the first page.. it was written in about 1992, I'm surprised Chester still has this after all these years. Wait, he was 16 when he wrote this...  16 year old Chester, he was in such a dark place back then..

I mentally prepare before reading it.

"My mom used to write in weird journals and shit. It seemed to work for her.. well, not really.. she still couldn't take my dad's shit and now here I am. Alone with him and his bottles of alcohol. I hate him, I hate everyone. I wanna fucking disappear. I just, I wanna run away. Or just escape, just escape the world. I actually think about suicide a lot. Everyone would be better off without me. Hell, I bet Luke and his group would be laughing their asses off when they find out that "the emo fag finally killed himself.". And my dad would be glad that he wouldn't have to deal with me anymore."

Tears started prickling in my eyes.. I skipped a few pages and ended up on the year he met me, and the day he did.

"Today was a good day. Someone helped me. His name is Mike Shinoda. He was very kind and sweet. But that's making me wonder if he's lost a bet or is doing it as a joke... but that could be my total paranoia. He told me he had friends he wanted me to meet, and he's in a band called 'Hybrid Theory' I hope to hear them play some day, I bet Mike's one hell of a singer. I always wanted to be a rockstar as a kid, which is a fucking ridiculous dead dream. No one wants to see me in general, so why would people pay for it. Besides, my voice is never good enough to become a singer..."

I stopped reading even though there was more. He the best singer I've ever heard, and look at the amount of people that pay to see him sing now... I randomly started crying again.

Draven called me, so I had to wipe my tears, and be the happy father that I want the kids to grow up with.