You are mine ~ Bennoda ✔️

••• 49. I was wrong •••

warnings: Very sad.

We eventually all headed outside to watch and light fireworks.

I watched the colorful explosions in the sky, it was beautiful... but not half as beautiful as the times Chester stood next to me.

I watched for another while before my hand moved to my right, to grip Chester's hand, but no one was there... I looked down and sighed. But he had to be out there somewhere, I looked at the sky and said "happy new year Chester, wherever you are

After another while, we all went back inside and I went first since I had the key to the house.

I felt something crumple at my feet, I looked down to see a light brown envelope with no name or Anything on it.

I picked it up and the guys shot me a curious look.. I looked confused.

I put it aside, for now.

—

Another hour passed and the only people left downstairs were me and the guys. Their wives left and the kids were asleep.

"Mike, that envelope." Dave said. I remembered, and I got up from the couch to get it, as I sat back down, A hit of nervousness hit me.

"Open it." Joe said, Curiosity just visible on him. I opened the envelope and there were pictures in it, I had them on the wrong side so now they were just white pieces of paper.. but when I turned one around, my heart dropped... No... tears made their way onto my cheeks. It was Chester... he looked terribly beaten up, burning wounds, cuts, bruises, he was tied to a Chair.

I tossed it onto the table and the guys also looked shocked and devastated. Joe broke down and let out a sob. Brad and Rob hugged each other tightly, Phoenix ran a hand through his hair as tears started to fall.

My shaky hand turned around another picture, I saw the hurt in Chester's eyes on this one, tears mixed with blood on his face.

I tossed it onto the table again, the guys were all crying and so was I. It felt worse then being stabbed or burned under the fire of a thousand suns.

I turned around the other one, my eyes widened, my heart stopped and it felt like I was suffocating. I started shaking and crying uncontrollably... Someone slit his throat... he's dead.

I threw it onto the table and got up of the couch as I started sobbing. I tried to walk away but I fell to the floor. He's dead... He can't be dead. I curled up into a ball and continued crying. I could hear the cries and sobs of the rest of the guys.

We were all so devastated about the loss of our best friend, the guys' brother and my husband, the father of 4 children... a man who saved people's lives, a man with a voice like no one else, a selfless, kind, beautiful, funny, amazing and strong man. He can't be gone.. this can't be it.

I was full of disbelief... he can't be gone. What happened to forever? Wait,

Flashback

I was sitting in the hospital near Chester who had just.... It was a few weeks after we found him on the floor in his house.

He had woken up a while ago.

I sighed "wow, I wouldn't know what I would've done without you. We wouldn't have had our forever Chaz."

"We would, Mike. Because no matter what happens, I'll always be with you. Even if I'm looking down at you from a cloud, or haunt your future house." Chester said, Chuckling at the haunting part, he sighed "no, but uhm.. I'll always be with you in spirit and hopefully your heart. If I'd ever say goodbye, know it'll never be forever. We'd meet again another day. But in the meantime I'd be watching you, taking care of you. Protecting you. Smiling at you once the band would become a huge success..-"

"Our band can't be successful without you Chester. Besides, I couldn't live your dream without you." I said, holding his hand. "And if you'd die.... god.."

"I'd be by your side, in spirit." Chester said.

Flashback end.

I shook my head, this can't be it. Even if he promised he'd be watching me. It would never be the same. I looked at the rest of the guys, who were also sobbing and crying out Chester's name.

Then I thought, what'll happen to the band?

I though about it, getting up on that stage without Chester.. It made me feel sick. Finding another vocalist... no one's as good as Chester, no one would be as much of a friend, brother and lover as Chester. Chester can't be replaced..

Then I also remembered that I had to go to meet the officer tomorrow... I want whoever did this to pay for what they've done.

I got up from the ground and stood shakily. The guys were also still crying. I heard a knock on the doorframe "dad? What's wrong?" It was Jaime. I swallowed my tears "N-Nothing."

"No, something's horribly wrong, what is it?" He said as he entered the room. I ran to the coffee table and grabbed the pictures, hiding the image of it.

"What's that?" Jaime asked, getting closer to me. I shook my head "I-It's nothing Jaime." "Then why are you crying?"

"Jaime! I-I don't want you to see t-these okay? Now s-stop." I said. Jaime sighed and shook his head before disappearing upstairs.

Dave spoke up, shakily "y-Your gonna, uh.. have t-to tell t-them, M-Mike.."

I nodded as tears started falling down my face again "I know." I whispered, barely audible. How do you tell your kids that their father died? Their hero.

Memories came flooding back. Every moment of happiness we had with the kids. Beautiful moments... I realized that I really don't know what I got until it's gone.

I told the guys I was going to bed, knowing I wouldn't be able to sleep.

As I went upstairs I looked at the pictures we had up on the wall. Chester hugging the kids tightly, with that grin on his face. Chester grinning with all his teeth showing.

Then one of my favorites,  the one where we got married, The guys were on this one too, Rob and Brad covered in cake.

All the memories of Chester, beautiful things that should be treasured so he will be remembered.

Remember our hero, a legend, a lifesaver and our angel,  Chester Charles Bennington.

A/N

Okay, that was hard to write. I'm sorry.