She's My Girlfriend!

Chapter 28: I'm not like that anymore!

You know what forget it. I should have known this." She sighed as she closed her eyes, pacing around my floor. I felt a knife slice through me, my chest trying to collect oxygen. 'Stop caring about this; you don't give a fuck about people's feelings. You're tough and uncaring about girls emotions because of the drama they bring!... fuck my life.'

"I'm not like that anymore..." I murmured as I slumped against my door. She looked at me with a painful expression. She sighed and turned around looking out my picture window, her hands running in her hair.

"Yeah... okay. People don't change within a week's time..." I threw my glasses on my bed as I stood up and walked up to her, overly happy that she hadn't turned around. It was as if she knew I'd do it... I wrapped my arms around her waist and leaned my head on her shoulder to whisper in her ear.

"How can I prove it to you?" I asked as I tried to seem sincere. She turned her head to look at me, her eyes displaying nothing to me.

"I don't want you to prove anything, Jedean. If you're looking for a 'good fuck' don't look for it in me... because I'm not like that. Regardless if we ever... go beyond well... kissing and such."

I was so angry, and I didn't really understand as to why. I pulled away from her and rubbed the back of my neck in annoyance.

"Fine, whatever." She turned around and looked at me. I wanted so badly to still be upset with her, but for some reason when I looked at her expression, I understood why I couldn't be. "If you want to go home, I'll understand and all." She took a seat at my window bench and eyed me curiously.

"What I don't get, is why you even like... I guess, want me? Or whatever it is. When you can obviously get anyone you want." She said as she leaned her head against the wall, not looking at me now. I was fidgeting as I stood there, not really knowing what to say to that.

"I... well I mean... I can't get whoever I want. That's uh... not really how it worked..." I murmured as I took a seat opposite from her. She gave me a quick glance then looked back out the window. I looked out too and noticed the boys practicing karate on each other.

"You force yourself on them?"

"Er... not really... I mean yeah kinda... but not in a bad way?" I was digging such a deep hole...

"Oh." She pulled her legs up and rested her head on it. I wanted to just shrivel up and die on the spot when she wouldn't talk after the longest time. "You said earlier, that you weren't like 'that' anymore. Yet just a few days ago apparently you... uh... did stuff with that one girl? How did you change so fast?" She was finally looking at me, but now I was too nervous to look back.

"Uhm... I don't know." What the hell? Was that really all I could say? I sighed mentally as I rubbed my thighs in frustration.

"Okay." Her voice sounded off and seemed to have a bit of sadness to it. "Well, I'll pick him up tomorrow." With that she stood up and was heading for my bedroom door. Every bit of me was telling me to get up and stop her, but one part of me was stopping me. 'You said she could whenever she wanted, so shut up and get over it.' When she shut my door behind her, my chest hurt.

Game DAY

"Wake up, Tan!" I snapped out of my head just in time to watch someone score a goal on me as if it was an empty neat. I groaned in annoyance as I was ready to be grilled by my team-mates.

"What the hell?" Stella threw her arms up to exaggerate her meaning. I sighed and threw the ball to the ref for the game to continue on.

"Way to go, idiot." Another girl said as she ran back up field. I looked over to the sidelines to see our coach throwing a playbook on the ground. The score was now 3-1 with us in the losing. I could not get my game face on to save my life. It was Sunday, and I still haven't talked to Jemma. I felt so out of place and frustrated that I couldn't focus on todays and yesterday games.

"That's it." The coach called a change up as I was pulled from the game for Stella to play Goalie and Marie to take her place on the field. I took a seat on the bench as I threw my sunglasses on and put my ear buds in, leaning back against the bench hoping I could be ignored, fat chance.

I could tell the coach was glaring at me, but at the time I wasn't really caring about that. She took a seat next to me as she watched the game continue on. "What's wrong, Jedean? Do you have emotional problems? Are your parents fighting? Did you get dumped?" I rolled my eyes as I watched Jules pass the ball.

"No." I was sweaty and really wanting a shower about now.

"Then what's the problem? You're normally all over the field and a great goalie. We have the Phil Soccer Tournament in just two weeks. If you play well there I honestly think you'll play for the SouthPhil Team against NorthPhil. But..." I turned my music up slightly so I couldn't hear her anymore. I sighed when she pulled the ear buds out though. "Do you not care about soccer anymore?"

"I do." 'Just not right now...'

"Then what's the problem...?" I looked up at her to see she had an actual sincere expression on her face.

"There's nothing wrong." I think she knew I was lying, but she finally gave up when a girl on the team was red carded. I pulled my phone out of my bag to see no texts; at least not from the person I wanted to text me... I was bugging out over this so bad, and I hated every moment of it.

The game went on without me for probably another hour, the score ending with 4-3, us in favour. My ears were really starting to hurt from the nonstop blaring music that was playing, but I didn't care.

As we grabbed up our gear and headed to the bus, I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. I turned to see Jules standing behind me with a bashful smile. I chewed on the inside of my cheek as all the girls kept going to the truck, earning a glare from Marie.