Cameron's pov
"Bro you're drunk shut up." Nash says looking oddly pale.
"Did I ever tell you, you have nice eyes, I wish I had brown eyes... oh wait I do have brown eyes.... haha, I mean I wish I had your eyes." nash slams his hand on my mouth.
"I fuckin hate you right now." I stick out my bottom lip, but then I stop.
"Yeah you and Mel." her name has a bad taste in my mouth, or maybe it's just beer?
"Why does Mel hate you?" I groan and lean against the window.
"She loves Taylor, Taylor this Taylor that. He's not even funny." Nash laughs at me and I glare at him, that shuts him up.
"Cameron, you need to get sobered up before I have a serious talk with you." I shake my head and move my lips with my fingers.
"I never want to sober." I say closing my eyes, a yawn forms and I stretch my arms.
"Don't you dare fall asleep on me, I'm not carrying you out of this car." Nash says raising his voice. "cam I'm serious, don't." I refuse to listen and let my eyes close, sleep is always nice.
---
"I said wake up!" Someone screams, the screaming doesn't help the pounding that seems to only happen in one area.
"I'm up I'm up damn." when I open my eyes I realize it was a mistake. My room, is bright as hell.
"Where's Mel did you already get up? Wait Nash what are you doing in our room?" Nash sits on the edge of my bed and I slowly sit up next to him.
"Uhm you and Mel I guess kinda broke up." then I remember, the argument, the bar, and dear Nash. without saying anything I get up and grab my jacket and keys.
"Uhm where the hell do you think you're going?" Nash says blocking the door.
"I'm going out." Nash turns me around and pushes me back to my bed.
"No you're staying right here, I'm letting you go out and so stupid things, you're going to sit in here and think about what you did." Nash says and I can't help but roll my eyes.
"Nash you're not my damn mother." nash laughs coldly.
"No I'm not congrats, but what the hell would she say?" Nash walks out and slams my door. I throw myself back against the bed and close my eyes.
"You fucked up now cam, you really did."
"Cam, can we talk?" Mel says nervously as she leans against the door frame. I pat the open seat next to me on the sofa. She shakes her head.
"Have you ever been told you could never do something, and then one day it happens?" I nod and tilt my head, confused at where she is going with this.
"Yeah of course, it's a great feeling." she smiles and sits next to me. She takes hold of my hand and looks me in the eyes.
"It really is, but let's say you don't know how another person would react?" my eyebrows knit together in confusion.
"But If you're happy it shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks."
"But you can't be happy unless they are."
"Well I guess you have to find out if they are happy, but Mel baby what is this about." she falters for a minute and then she smiles.
"That's exactly it." I stare into her hopeful eyes, and for the first time in two years, I look at her differently. She's pregnant. A baby, another human in our house. A person we are responsible for, to make sure they are fed and clean and safe. So much things come with a baby, so many things I can't deal with. My heart beats face and I can feel my breathing start to catch up, the room is spinning and through the chaos I'm feeling I stand up and pull my arm away from her.
"No, no! We can't have a baby, I can't do this!" I say rubbing my temples, and I didn't see it then, but I see it now. The way her dark eyes became empty, with no fire behind them. the light went out.
"Cameron, you're not going to be alone." I shake my head and cover my ears.
"No you have to get an abortion, I can't we can't, no." I say and i realize, I was a coward, I didn't even look at her, I didn't apologize. I just ran out, leaving a girl who had a small chance of ever having kids, pregnant on the sofa, with our child that I told her to get rid of.
I let my eyes stay closed and even though they feel sealed shut, my tears still leak through. I cry myself to sleep, something I wish I hadn't of done.
I'm in a house, it doesn't look familiar,
"Honey you're home already?" Mel's voice is loud but steady. I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out. When Mel does come into view, she's glowing. Her smile is bright and her dark eyes shine. She's always looked good in red but this red dress falls to the floor and is tight to her body, it is only when she turns to the side, I see the round curve that is her belly, she's pregnant.
A little boy stumbles up to her, he's got a diaper on his head and two different shoes on his chubby feet. I smile and squat down to watch him closer.
"Mommy I made potty." She closes her eyes and I can tell she's counting to ten.
"Okay baby, mommy will be right there." The little boy giggles and runs off, unsteadily might I add. I stand up to approach Mel, she's even got a wedding ring. She turns to look at me and smiles. My heart soars and I can't believe this is what I pushed away. Then suddenly I feel someone push me and Taylor walks right through me. I'm invisible. Taylor goes up to Mel and kisses her then kisses her belly. It's horrifying. I try to move my feet but I can't. I'm stuck.
The room spins and then it's Mel. Her dark hair is shoulder length and she's holding a white stick.
"So?" Taylor questions as she walks out of the bathroom. She smiles.
"It's positive!" they both scream and she jumps into his arms.
Then the room spins again.
Mel is in a wedding dress, Taylor is in a tux, they must've just gotten married. He has her pressed against the wall, his lips pressed to her neck. The sight makes me sick. The minute his name leaves her lips I scream.
I wake up sweating.
"I can't let anything happen, I can't let that happen." I say aloud as I walk into my bathroom to shower.
"But she looked so happy." It's a fact, that I hate. But is she truly that happy with Taylor? It'd be rare for her to have a kid, let alone two. One night we sat in bed talking about it. She's so over it, and so used to the fact that she's never going to have kids that it kills me. Instead of hating me, she actually told me thank you. The doctors said she probably would've had a hard pregnancy, it would've been risky and dangerous for her and the baby. She most likely would've miscarried, so she told me thank you.
I told her I was sorry, as she told me thank you. I lost her so quick, she was like sand falling through my clenched hand, no matter how tight I held, she still slipped away.
