You are worthless and no good for anything. You don't even try hard enough to achieve the goals you need. You will never be the amazing successful person you want to be. What do you have to be upset about? Others have it worse than you. Quit being scared and if you're going to try and kill yourself, actually succeed. You are so terrible to look at. Well someone's getting fat. They don't like you or even think you're pretty. Nobody loves you so stop trying.
You think things are going right and then you find out the one that you think you love is lying to your face and it seems to never stop. You don't understand why they lied, but they just keep lying and you don't know what is the truth or another lie. You just start to feel the world spinning and you're scared that the spinning won't stop. You share the room with that person and they're so obsessed on keeping the lie alive that you can't even look at them. You just want to yell and scream at them, but all you do is cut, cry, and blame yourself. What else is there to do? You have so much pain already and they just added more and you feel as if you are worth nothing so you say "Why am I here no one even wants me here?" You try to cut deeper every time that blade goes across your skin. And you're just waiting for it to be just deep enough that you don't wake up in the morning. But you wake the next morning and don't want to move then you go through the motions till the next night and try again and again till the pain takes the numbness away. That's all there is until that last day.
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The things I think of when I'm alone
ŞiirUnbearable pain that is expressed and acknowledged becomes bearable. But people who have suffered from BPD received no such responses in their childhood. Therefore, they are stuck in the past, trying to elicit what they needed as a child-validation...
