Devil In Her Heart (John Lennon fanfic)

Chapter 69.

Two months later

November 26, 1960

As the days and weeks went on, things became more and more stressful for the bands. Promoters showed up just about everyday but no bites. This caused lots of tension and arguements among the musicians.

John even got into a few fights with people from the crowd who would boo and heckle. This ended in a mess. John wasn't one to let things go so I had to meddle in and calm him down most of the time.

Things amongst our own group were on an unsteady level. Paul was always stressed, Stu met a girl who happened to be a photographer at the magazine I work for. She was really sweet and nice. They seemed like a cute couple. Pete on the other hand still flirted with me and acted more like a jerk everyday. When John wasn't trying to start a fight, he was either getting hopped up on pills or having sex. Some of those times werent even with me.

I will admit, It did hurt me a bit when John ignored me some nights and went off with another girl. But I got back at him by flirting with the other musicians and even slept over in Ringo's room a few times. We argued a lot more than usual but when it came down to it, we always ended up in each others arms, reminding one another how much we loved each other.

It was a Saturday evening as me and John stood on the empty stage in the almost empty club. Most of the guys were upstairs just relaxing, a few drinking at the tables and some more backstage, practicing and singing.

We all had a week break which will hopefully let us all relax and cut some of the tension. John was chewing gum and sat on a chair as I played with his hair.

"Aye love, remember a few years ago in art class when we were almost in this same exact position? I kissed ye remember?"

I giggled. "Oh yeah. I was so mad at you because earlier that day, you told me you regreted kissing me. Then you kissed me over and over again when everyone left the room later in the day."

"Fuckin hell I was such an idiot then. One thing I was sure of."

"Yeah? What's that?" I asked. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer.

"I wanted ye. From the first day I saw ye, in my mind it was always..I gotta have her. I need to have her all to myself. I wouldn't have it if I saw ye with another bloke. "

I blushed. "Well, you have me now."

"That I do. But um, I don't want ye to be with another bloke. You're mine. Just mine Lucy."

"I don't want you with any other girl John. It hurts me when I see you with someone else."

He nodded. "I know love. I'm sorry. Ye know I love you with all me heart." He chuckled. "I still plan on marryin ye one day. I will marry you."

"Well until then, let's enjoy being young yeah?"

He smiled. "I know I never tell ye this but, I can't imagine myself with anyone else but you. No other bird will put up with someone like me. I know that. Hell I can't even deal with myself sometimes. But then you come along and set me straight. I love you."

"I love you too baby." I leaned down and kissed him. I felt him squeeze my bum as I giggled and pulled back.

"I'll never get tired of that."

...

I was walking down the hall by myself as John waited for me to come to bed. I heard a voice as I came closer and closer around the corner. I realised the voice was John's. I stopped in my tracks and stayed quiet as he spoke.

"...Yes I'm still 'ere in Hamburg...yes i'm still with her...no it wouldn't be a good idea if ye came over. It's not really a great time plus, were still really busy... mhm. Well when we get back i'll come by and we can catch up yeah? I..I miss ye."

I bit my lip and kept listening.

"...i'd love that." He laughed. "Yes I remember. Alright then. Good night..oh and um, I love you..Cynthia. Can't wait to see ye again."

I felt my heart sink. I thought he didn't love her anymore...was he lying? Was he still seeing her?? Was I still just the girl he sees on the side? He sounded happy.

Once I knew he was gone, I finished walking down the hall, to our room door. I took a deep breath before I entered. He was in bed, laying on his side. Paul, Pete, Stu and George were already sound asleep as I got into bed. I didn't bother undressing. I felt hurt. Why would he lie to me? All those sweet words earlier...were they a lie? I had to be strong. I can't tell him I was eavesdropping. He'd get angry.

I wiped the tear that escaped my eye and jumped when I felt him wrap his arms around my waist from behind.

"You feel cold love. You alright?"

I just nodded. I wasn't alright. I just had to pretend. I closed my eyes, I just wanted this night to end.

....