Devil In Her Heart (John Lennon fanfic)

Chapter 83.

It was two in the morning as I heard voices outside the bedroom door. I picked my head up and noticed Paul gone. I touched his side of the bed and felt the warmth. He must have just woken up as well. I got up and quietly walked to the door.

"...why are ye here? She's sleeping."

"What in your bed? First ye try to steal my band now you steal my girl??"

He sounded drunk as he spoke. I shook my head and listened on.

"I'm not stealing anything. Look John, ye fucked up. Moving in with Cyn and trying to end things with Lucy like this is just hurting both of you."

My heart dropped...he came over to break up with me. He wants to end it. Officially. I couldn't even cry anymore. Just the pain in my chest was enough to torture me.

"You don't know what I want!"

"No I don't alright!? But I know what ye need! You need Lucy. She loves ye John. She's mad over ye and you just leave her like she's nothing!? Like she never meant anything to you!? Fuckin hell John I stuck up for you so many times! I hurt her just to protect you but now...now I realise I should have been protecting her from you! I told her so many times that Cyn was the girl for you! But Lucy...she's made you become the man we all love. The man who focuses on what's right. And I tried pushing her away...christ I hurt so much...Even after she lost your baby in Hamburg I still had my doubts! Maybe if ye knew about that you'd appreciate all she's gone through just to hold on to you!!"

"Paul I...I didn't know.."

"Just go John. She doesn't need this. Not now. She's gone through enough. You've hurt her more than anyone ever could...I'm tired of seein her cry practically every day. All because of you and her."

"Please Paul just let me..."

"Maybe tomorrow when you're in your right mind."

"Lucy please just let me explain! I love you! Please Lucy!" He yelled. I sank down on the floor and burst out crying, covering my ears. It took ever bit of me to not run out of the room and into his arms. But I knew it was for the best that I stayed here. He'd just end up hurting me even more.

"Come on John. I'll drive ye home." I heard Paul say.

"I don't 'ave a home...not without her.."

I felt horrible. I was hurting John.

"I'll take ye to Cyn's."

All was silent as they left. I stood up and wiped my tears as I heard the front door close. I laid back on the bed and closed my eyes, crying myself to sleep.

..

I spent the next day with George back at mine and Johns, cleaning up the living room. I never told Paul I overheard everything last night. And he never told me about it. I didn't speak to anyone for that matter. I didn't even want to come back here but I knew I had to just to clean up.

I picked up a picture of me and John from the better days. We looked so happy. His arms around my waist, kissing my cheek as I smiled. I always thought we'd be fine. Everything would go our way. I shook my head.

"Why do I still love him?" I whispered to myself.

"I still love you too."

I turned to see John standing in the doorway. He gave me a small smile and walked in. I bit my lip and looked down.

"John.." George said standing next to me.

"It'll be fine George. I'll be fine. Wait outside yeah?"

He nodded and kissed my cheek. "If ye need anything, just call out alright?"

I smiled and nodded. I watched as George walked passed John, giving him a look, leaving me and John alone in the room.

"So?" I said setting the picture down and leaning against the wall. "Why are you here?"

He sighed and walked closer to me. "I want to apologize."

I shook my head. "It's too late Lennon. In our bed John. In my bed. I just..some things just...I just can't do this anymore."

"I know Luce. I know I hurt you so much and.."

"I heard you last night. You and Paul. When you called out to me. I wanted to run to you. I wanted you to hold me and tell me everything was right again."

"He told me you were pregnant. Is that true?"

I nodded. "Yes. Two months to be exact. By the time I found out, I lost it."

"Why didn't ye tell me?"

I just shook my head. "I don't know really. I was hurt...I wanted the baby. Sometimes I wonder if I did have it...would things be different between us? Would you have left her for good? Would we be happier? But then again, you can't even leave her for me. Let alone a baby." I shook my head.

"...I still love you. I always have and always will."

"Then why be with her!? Christ John you just can't leave her!"

"And I can't leave you!" He yelled. I wiped my tears. "You're hurting me too Lucy! It goes both ways! For fucks sake ye think you're the only one thats hurting?? How do you think I feel when I see ye lookin at George the way you look at me!? Don't think I haven't noticed!"

"For fucks sake John you're getting intimidated by George!? He's only eighteen years old! You think I'm going to throw everything we have down the drain for a silly kid who has a crush on me!?"

We both turned to see George standing in the doorway, looking hurt. He shook his head.

"To think I gave a damn about you Lucy. You know what!? You two deserve eachother! You both lie, cheat and hurt everyone around them! Don't come crying to me anymore Lucy cause you know what!? I won't be there to help you anymore!" He turned on his heel and left.

"George!" I yelled. I began to cry again, feeling even worse than I did before. I just watched as John wiped his eyes and walked out, leaving me alone in the room. I threw the framed picture of us against the wall, shattering it. I grabbed the phone and dialed.

"Hello?"

I tried to compose myself but I couldn't.

"Paul...I need you right now."

"I'm on my way."

...