My Sister's Teacher

The Past Still Hurts

When my alarm woke me up and I was right I was tired but so worth it. I pulled my phone out and made sure what happened last night really happened. I opened the messages to Levi and sure enough there it was. "It wasn't a dream," I mumbled before feeling a smile spread across my face. I really told him I loved him, and he really said it back.

I slid out of bed and got started on breakfast for Mikasa and me. She came out of her room right as I was finishing up.

"Something smells good," she said walking into the kitchen grabbing two plates and silverware for us.

"I burnt the eggs just how you like," I said back as I brought the food over to the table.

"You're in a good mood," she said looking at me suspiciously. "Your new boyfriend isn't about to walk out of your room is he?" she rolled her eyes.

"No, but something did happen last night," I said with a big smile.

"Oh god don't tell me if it's bad," she groaned.

What did she think I could be talking- oh phone sex... "no it's nothing bad." I pulled my phone out and she covered her eyes.

"Eren," she groaned.

"I promise it's nothing bad," I said and she rolled her eyes.

"Fine but if it's bad I'm gonna punch you," she said uncovering her eyes.

I opened the messages and showed her what happened. "See it's not bad."

She just read the messages and then looked back to me. "You guys already said you love each other?" she asked a little worried.

"I know it's a little rushed, and I didn't plan to say it. It just slipped out and honestly I'm surprised he said it back but I've never felt this happy. I love him I really do." I sat down at the table and I didn't know how Mikasa would react, but I didn't expect that worried look on her face.

"It is really rushed, but if you're happy then I'm happy. I just hope this works out for you and doesn't blow up in your face... again." She looked genuinely worried.

"I know that I've been naive in the past, but I have a good judge of character-"

"No your judge of character is bais," she cut me off, "you focus on the good in people which isn't a bad thing usually, but you become blinded by only the good so when there is bad you can't see it."

"I use to do that, but not anymore. I can see past that now-."

"Can you?" her voice cut through mine again her tone rattling in my ears.

I stood up standing my ground, "look I know that you're looking out for me, but I can take care of myself. I've been hurt before and I'm not as naive as you think. I can handle myself and I know that you just want to look out for me but I can tell good from bad I'm not a child anymore."

"You say that, but I was the one who had to pick up the pieces where your past exes ripped you down. I was the one staying up all night listening to you as you cried so hard that you made yourself sick. I was the one who had to convince you to leave your first ex because he was emotionally abusive. I was the one who had to help you get back on your feet and help undo everything he did. I don't want you to go through that again. I don't like seeing you like that Eren."

It all made sense now of why she was so worried about me. This happened years ago, even though it was still fresh in my mind I thought she had forgotten about it. It was about 4 years ago during my last year of high school we had started dating when we were 17. It was one of my first serious relationships. We were together for a little over a year and it was the worst year of my life. I was convinced I didn't have a say in my life, that I was worthless and that no one could ever love me but him.

I sat back down and took a few deep breaths to clear my head. "Levi's not like that. I know better Mikasa. I'm looking out for the signs, and the first sign of something bad I'll be the first to call it and get out. Whenever Levi talks about me it's not to put me down or belittle me, he's only ever talked good about me." I took a few more deep breaths. This isn't how I thought I would start my day. "I love him, and I'm happy with my relationship for once. The second either of those changes I'll be sure to end it."

I pushed my plate away from me. I wasn't so hungry anymore, and my good mood turned sour. I know she was just looking out for me, but this conversation just brought up a whole bunch of negative emotions. "I need to get ready for work. Just be ready so I can drop you off at school." I stood up and headed into my room. I hopped into the shower to try and clear my head before getting dressed.

The drive to Mikasa's school was quiet and awkward. When I headed into work I was happy to see it busier than normal, but towards the end of my shift, it started to slow down which was bad for a few different reasons. One, I couldn't just bury myself in my work and forget about everything. And two Jean-.

"Hey what's up?" he asked walking up. Speak of the devil.

Jean is really good at telling when something was wrong. I think the only reason back when I was in the abusive relationship he didn't know was because we weren't as close during that time. Well, I think that's why we weren't close during that time. We had gotten into an argument because of my ex. My ex was super jealous and didn't like us hanging out so I didn't. I never told Jean the reason I stopped talking to him, and I've never told him that I was in an abusive relationship. Another thing Mikasa helped me do was repair my relationship with Jean and I'm glad she did.

"Hey," I said back as normal as possible. I still really didn't feel like talking. I could tell Jean knew something was wrong because his smile turned into a concerned frown.

"What's wrong?" he asked and I just shook my head. I didn't want to talk about. Hell, I couldn't talk about it especially not at work. Talking about it earlier made me shut down and lash out a little at my sister. I didn't mean to be so harsh but I couldn't stand remembering everything and I just wanted her to stop.

"We can talk about it later it's not important."

"Did something happen between you and your boyfriend?" he asked and I froze.

It took me a minute before realizing he meant Levi, not my past boyfriend. For a second I had been thrown back to a few years ago into my abusive relationship and I had to stop myself from lashing out and defending someone who wasn't even in my life anymore. It's funny how one phrase can bring you right back to a point in time you thought you had long forgotten.

"No, Levi's great, we're great." I sighed, "it's something from the past that is just bugging me and I know that's stupid since it's been years, but I can't shake it.

"It's not stupid," he said quietly. "How about after work we go back to my place and talk," he asked. I checked the time and nodded. I didn't have to be at Levi's for a little while and I didn't really want to go over to his place with all these horrible feelings.

"Yeah I'd like that," I gave him a nod.

A client walked in and he knew he had to head back to the room but before he did, he gave me a big smile and a pat on the back. He really was a good friend and I'm glad Mikasa fixed our friendship because honestly without Jean as my friend I'd be so lost.