My Sister's Teacher

Packing

When I finally calmed down it took a few more minutes to get the strength to pick myself up. I used the door frame and walked in the house closing and locking the door behind me before coming in the room and sitting down for a minute to catch my breath a recharge both physical and mental strength.

When I was ready I took a deep breath and stood up. I decided it would be best to start packing up all the painful memories first since those would be the hardest. I stopped at my dad's door knocking before letting out a sigh. It was a habit to always knock before entering. I bit my bottom lip to try and stop it from quivering as I felt tears start to burn my eyes again I swallowed down all the feelings and head into the dark room.

I walked over to the windows and pulled the curtains letting the light fall in. "Morning dad," I said hoping that talking to him would help. "Sorry for intruding, but I thought I should finish grabbing a few things. I hope that's okay."

I didn't expect an answer, but I felt almost as if I got one. A feeling washed over me that stopped me dead in my tracks. I almost swore I felt a reassuring pat on my shoulder. It was dad's signature move when he thought we were upset. He'd always sit us down listen to what we were upset about pat us on the shoulder and do what he could to help.

I fell to my knees and tried to stop myself from shaking. "I miss you so much, dad. I know Mikasa's almost an adult, but I still have no idea how to take care of her. Everything's changing again, and you know how much I hate change. Dad, I need you. I don't know how to do this without you." I sat there crying my eyes out to the point my whole body was trembling.

I took a few deep breaths to stop myself from trembling anymore. The room was cold when I walked in, hell it's always cold the air conditioning was strongest in this room, but there was a sense of warmth around me. I know this all could be just my imagination, but imagination or not I choose to believe this is my dad.

"Thanks, dad," I mumbled before taking another calming breath. "I don't think I'm ready to face all of this without your guidance, but I know that you raised us both to be strong. So even though you're gone I think we're going to be okay because you taught us how to be."

I gave a little nod before closing my eyes and just imagining him hugging me and telling me it was okay. I know I said I was imagining it, but that so-called imagination came through my other senses. Rather than my thoughts, it came through my sense of hearing and touch.

I took a few more deep breaths and when I calmed down I stood up the warm feeling never left me. I knew the room was cold just as it always was since everything I picked up felt like I was holding ice, but the air around me stayed the same.

I started picking up everything and gently placing it in the boxes. There was about two boxes worth of stuff in his room that I was planning on keeping. It was all stuff like pictures and other things that held memories.

After I finished the emotional rollercoaster of packing these two boxes and talking to dad the whole time I was, I decided I should make a call. I called Jean telling him where I was at since I had promised to tell him whenever I came back here. Besides, I had finished the most emotional parts, or at least I hoped I did.

I picked up the boxes and carried them out to my car. I put them in the front seat so I wouldn't mistake them with any other boxes. When I finished putting those in the car I headed back in the house locking the door behind me before picking up my phone and sitting down for a moment.

"Hello?" Jean had answered. I knew today was his day off and I was just hoping I wasn't interrupting anything.

"Hey, sorry are you busy right now?" I asked seeming as he seemed a little out of it when he answered.