My Sister's Teacher

Worries

We headed back to Jean and Marco's place after work. We took my car.  Marco was working later than usual since he picked up a coworkers shift. Jean and I headed over to his place in my car. Jean had driven over with Marco and was planning on waiting up for him, but rather he shot him a text letting him know to use his spare car key.

We walked into the house and he slumped down on the couch and I joined him. "You wanna like lay down like in the movies or something?" he teased.

"Very funny," I rolled my eyes.

"But seriously, are you okay?" his tone switched along with his questions.

"I just had a really rough morning," I started explaining everything. What Mikasa and I were talking about, what happened in my past relationship.

"Eren you can tell me about anything, why didn't you tell me before that you were struggling?"

"I didn't think I was. I knew it still hurt to think about all of this, but I never thought that it would affect me this much."

"How is it affecting you? What do you feel?" he asked and I swore he sounded like an actual therapist for a moment.

"Well, since this morning I feel like I've had weights shackled to my legs. It feels like gravity is 10 times heavier than normal. It hurts to think about it, or anything for that matter. My head is throbbing with too many thoughts racing inside. I just feel so tired and there's this sense of panic and dread in the back of my head. I care about Levi, hell I love him, but I'm scared." I paused realizing what was bugging me a lot.

"What are you scared of?"

I took a deep breath to try and calm the panicked nerves coming up. "What if it happens again? What if he's not who I think he is? What if he hurts me? What if all relationships I get in are just cursed to fail? What if-," Jean cut me off as I started to spiral.

"Hold on a second. You haven't notice Levi acting similar to your exes right?"

"Well no-."

"Then what is there to worry about. I know it's hard not to be scared, but don't scare yourself out of being happy in a relationship now." He said placing a hand on my shoulder.

"You're right, but it's just hard sometimes ya know?" I sighed. What was I thinking how could he know what I was talking about. He's never had anything but healthy and happy relationships.

"I understand, I don't know what you've been through Eren, but I do understand how it can be hard." he paused for a minute before looking back to me, "have you talked to Levi about this?"

"No, I'm not going to talk to him about my problems especially stuff that happened in the past. He doesn't want to hear about that. Besides, there's nothing he can do to fix it."

"Eren, that's what being in a relationship is. It's like a friendship but more. You should be able to talk to him. It's communication and trust. It's telling them about your problems. You don't have to expect them to fix it, but you can expect them to listen and comfort you. I'd just talk to him, tell him what you're worried about and explain why you're worried."

"What if I don't have a reason to be worried, I just am?" I mean what reason do I have he hasn't given me a reason to be worried. Levi's been nothing but amazing and yet I'm still tense and nervous around him sometimes. I keep expecting the worst and he's giving me nothing but the best. I have no reason to worry yet here I am.

"You have a reason Eren, you already told me your reason. Your reason is that you've been hurt before. That's reason enough. Just talk to him if he is like how you described him I'm sure he'll understand what you're saying."