Common past || Markhyuck

.26.

When I kneeled down abruptly on the asphalt near Donghyck's blood-stained body, I felt as if my biggest nightmare had just been fulfilled. The boy was breathing spasmodically, looking at me with eyes wide open. The red pool of blood beneath his head grew larger with each passing moment. I began to brush hair from his face with trembling fingers, losing visual acuity more and more. I clenched my eyes tightly, so that a few tears fell but thanks to that I could see at least a little better.

I met with Hyuck's equally glazed gaze, his mouth moving as if to say something but no words came into being. I caught him by the hand, afraid of touching his bruised body in any other way. I felt my chin trembling more and more with every  passing moment  and the breath becoming terribly shallow.

"I'm sorry," whispered in a broken voice, then sniffed. "I'm so fucking sorry," I sobbed, unable to keep  emotions completely in check. A tear slowly dripped from the corner of Donghyuck's eye and his lips continued to formulate messages that were inaudible to me. "I don't understand,"  shook my head from side to side. "I don't understand anything," I repeated and a loud sob broke out of my chest. All this situation was so deeply surreal to me that I was totally unable to accept its existence. It just could not be happening. Not us. Not again. "Forgive me," I strangled, desperately folding a kiss on the icy lips of the boy. "Forgive me that I can't understand anything," I strangled, referring not only to the current situation but also to all this senseless quarrel, which I set about. I inhaled air in a spasmodic way. The truck driver stood on the side of the road, feverishly reporting on the situation on the phone. The timid gawkers started to gather around us - a permanent element of the every tragedy taking place in the public space. "No, no, no," I began to whisper frantically as Donghyuck suddenly started closing his eyes slowly. "Donghyuck!" I shouted loudly, wanting to keep his eyelids up in some way. It, however, stubbornly kept going in the opposite direction. "Donghyuck! Stay with me! "I started slapping him lightly on the cheeks, looking around in the hope that the expected ambulance would be right behind the corner at the signal. Nothing like that uhappily happened. "Donghyuck!" I yelled. "Don't leave me! You understand?! You cann't leave me! Not now, okay? "I started to scream nervously, still patting him on the cheeks, although his eyelids fell long ago and did not want to raise. "You cannot... Donghyuck, fuck... You just cannot, kid... You cannot, hm?..." I moaned, running my thumb over his soft, cool skin, getting closer and closer to the limit of a complete breakdown... "DONGHYUCK !!!!".

I woke up violently fromsleep, drawing the air sharply. Several empty metal cans after beer tumbled to the floor, tearing the dead silence of the apartment wrapped in darkness and sadness. I touched my face slowly, wiping nightmarish tears from cheeks with the sleeve of  sweatshirt, which didn't belong to the freshest ones.

I looked around, not seeing anything but a dirty, neglected living room, that was protected by the blinds from the outside world. I heard silence in my ears, which made me realize that a actual dream that has been tormenting me for a long time is not just an ordinary dream but a horrifying nightmare that took its source from real life and real events.

I rubbed my tired face slowly with hand, leaning forward. I caught hair in tufts, swaying compulsively back and forth. I couldn't believe that all of this shit really happened. That I was still waking up again and again and I had to realize that he wasn't with me. That there's nobody. That I am completely alone.

It has been the same for two weeks now. The scream, the horn of the braking truck, the squeaking of tires, the bloodied body and mouth, in which the words that so desperately wanted the world to hear them got stuck.

I began to laugh, holding back my tears. I couldn't live like this anymore. I couldn't function this way. I pressed my fingers firmly onto eyelids, as if it would help me anyhow to stop that floodgates of sorrow that wanted to sail out... Even though it should have dried up many days ago.