Common past || Markhyuck

.28.

I packed all of Donghyuck's things slowly, collecting everything that had accumulated over the long two months in his hospital room. The boy himself was very quiet since the Saturday morning and he didn't say much. It was true that he spent a lot of time here but I didn't think that leaving the hospital would be a depressing experience for him. All the time, however, he spent sitting on the edge of the bed, swinging his legs in the air and looking at the floor.

"Minhyung?" He finally began, quite uncertainly, without taking his eyes off the ground.

"Hm?" I murmured, pushing some kind of sweatshirt into bag. I just wanted to leave this place as soon as possible. For the past two months, I have contracted such a strong hospital trauma that even if I had a serious illness with the requirement to treat it in an outpatient manner, I would rather die than appear again in the ward.

"Maybe... will it be better if I come back to my parents?" He asked in a muffled voice, still focused on dangling sneakers with light-colored laces. His words set me in such a stupor that I froze in one pose with a dirty shirt in my hand.

"What?" I asked dully. "Why?" I was surprised, not understanding anything at all. I thought he couldn't wait to come back to our house together. For the last two weeks I have been constantly arguing with his father to keep him by my side and not to spend the rest of my life alone with his sporadic visits every other weekend. I could not live like this anymore. I could no longer live alone and learn to function in this apartment without Donghyuck. We were a couple, we lived together like a couple. If one of the couple broke up, everything that until now existed as a common part ceased to be the raison d'être, blurred in the air and became non-existent. Donghyuck shrugged. I sighed heavily, throwing the bag from the chair to the ground and sat down on seat, stepping closer to the boy. I caught him gently with both hands and looked into a sad, cloudy face. "Do you want this? Do you want it to be that way?" I asked calmly. I couldn't impose anything on him. Love wasn't working like that. It would be hard for me to accept his decision but if that was his will, I had to face up to it. Recently, I have become very accommodating towards life. I have already learned too well what does itmean to almost completely lose someone, which is why I decided that the separation in this case was not the worst option. Donghyuck, however, shook his head from side to side with tears in his eyes. "What's going on, Hyuck?" I asked carefully, sensitizing myself to all the sudden changes in mood that the boy was going through recently.

"Because..." he began uncertainly in a breaking voice. "When I was lying on the street then..." he began uncertainly, returning to the events I completely did not want to remember. They constituted a carrier of such tragic memories that I wanted them to simply disappear, to go away in oblivion. There were only few similar traumas in my life that I only dreamed about to wipe. I can even say that it was the only such trauma so far. Even my episode of drugs did not have such a negative emotional charge. "I really thought at the time that I was seeing you for the last time and I wanted to apologize to you for all the horrible things I said and say all those that pass so badly through my throat. I wanted to tell you how much I love you and how much I don't want to die this way when we still have so much time that we could spend together. "He said it very quickly just in one sob, slipping from the bed onto my knees when I unfolded inviting arms. The boy almost immediately cuddled up in me, leaning his forehead against my neck. I felt Hyuck's hands clenching desperately on the fabric of my T-shirt. "I don't want to be parted with you like that anymore. Don't leave me, I am begging you. Just don't leave... "he asked hysterically, bringing me in an incredibly depressive mood. Sometimes I really could not shoulder all the emotions that he dropped on my lap. I understood his fears and anxieties as most because it also grew in me in the light of recent events. In what kind of human it wouldn't? However, at the time when both sides were tormented by remorse beyond the possibility of a single unit to carry this baggage, it began to go bad. I had the impression that in this situation we were both now.