Common past || Markhyuck

.38.

One day I woke up thinking that I had to find a box with things that I came with to Canada six years ago. It wasn't just about clothes. I had all my mother's photos there, letters that I wrote to Hyuck when it was really hard for me and postcards for his birthday, which I never sent. This box had enormous sentimental value but in the face of my addiction, it finally ceased to have any meaning for that Minhyung. That's why I completely didn't remember where I hid them.

The search for this memory-filled cardboard box definitely improved my relationship with Donghyuck. Our relation from the wedding party was rather tense. Everyone saw it. We already slept in one bed but the feeling was almost the same as if we slept in separate rooms. Hyuck was adamant and I understood that. I deserved how he treated me in the last few days. I have failed him in every possible area. I think that if I hadn't come the day before yesterday to beg to sleep in one bed, our situation would not change at all. Aunt wasn't asking anything. She just has been passing me without a word day in, day out. But I knew she was disappointed. I'd have been too.

However, I got up yesterday with this box in my mind and just started looking for it. By accident, I woke up Donghyuck, who watched me for a moment and then finally asked what I was looking for. And so it began.

We started our search from the attic, where was simply  everything - just not what we were looking for. After all, we spent half a day there, looking at photos of the youth of my aunt and uncle, we made fun of their hairstyles, clothes and gadgets that stood around us in garbage bags. Hyuck finally found an album that had photographs of my mother and aunt from their early childhood, teen days, holidays - all that jazz. And that was what occured to be the end of me. I had completely broken up.

I didn't have many memories with her. I didn't have photos that would remind me of her face, her smile, her smiling eyes, her everything. All that was left in Korea and the house was almost completely stolen. It was hard to live with the knowledge that the memories of your own mother's face are becoming more and more pale and you are actually forgetting the most important woman in your life day after day.

Donghyuck hugged me tightly then and that's what ended our search that day. Too many memories irrupted my head at once and made me an emotional debris.

Today we started with new intentions and new enthusiasm in new places. At the beginning separately, after a while - together. Hyuck worked a lot with my aunt, with whom cooperation did not necessarily suit me. The woman was helping me at a distance. I knew that all the information about why Hyuck made such a huge scene that fateful night reached her. I also knew that our meeting would end in another row and I wasn't completely ready for it mentally. Aunt loved my boyfriend in her own specific way and wanted us badly to be together for the rest of our lives. She wanted it a little too much in my opinion. Our wedding meant that someone would have control over me. Someone who won't let me go back to drugs. Someone other than her who had fought with me for such a long time and had enough of this fight. Someone she trusted and who she believed in. That someone was Donghyuck to her.

The search ended, however, with us sleeping with each other in a cluttered storage room with various strange boxes. We were making love longly and violently to such an extent that after sex we didn't want to look for anything any further. We were lying on the floor for a long time tangled in our clothes and limbs - just brething in silence, allowing our minds to wander. We had a lot to say to each other. There were also many things to fix. For now, we were silent and avoided the topic but in the end this escape had to end. If not now, then in the near future. It was just a matter of finding the right moment. All in all Donghyuck said that he had to wash himself because we were together too many times to ease off a quick shower. Thanks to that I could conclude that the right moment wasn't now. Reluctantly, I let him out of my arms, then gathered myself from the ground and went into the room for clean clothes.