darling | brendon urie | sequel to "strawberries"

43: "just leave me alone!"

tw
i got grounded though. me and brendon had been arguing quite frequently and it wasn't good. i had to cancel my date with justin sadly. i wouldn't talk to brendon...maybe i should not have answered back when he told me turn my music down.

the next day we got into another fight because i wouldn't do my homework.
"dylan i don't care if you're homeschooled! you gotta do your homework!"
"homework is pointless if im homeschooled!"
"you still gotta fucking do it!" i rolled my eyes when he said that and he noticed.

shit.

"hey, don't do that shit" he scolded me.
"you keep yelling at me! its annoying!"
"you keep misbehaving! whats going on, huh?"
"nothing! just leave me alone!"
"cut the attitude!" i knew i was going to cry.
"god just leave me alone!" i opened the front door and stormed out of the house.
"dylan stop causing a fucking scene!" i didn't reply. i just started running.

i sat under the tree crying my eyes out. me and brendon never argued. yet now we were arguing everyday. it sucked so much..i love him with my whole fucking heart. yet i was causing problems. my phone was getting spammed with brendon texting me and calling me. then justin texted me.

justin😔👊: hey im gonna come get you okay? everythings gonna be okay.

ten minutes later i was sobbing into his arms and spilling everything. i told him i was scared things would change if he married sarah and how i can't sleep because of my anxiety and how much i hated sierra. i felt anger towards brendon because i thought he'd have other kids and forget about me. i'd be replaced. i wasn't really his child. i was an adopted waste of space.

"look dylan. brendon loves you so much. he's stressed too - with the wedding. and he worries a lot about you. he's worried you're feeling suicidal again and was thinking of taking you to the hospital. he would never replace you. he doesn't even want any more kids. he just wants you. you're his child and he loves you more than anything in the world. you've changed his life. sure he may be a bit harsh at times. but you know he cares about you. jus' talk to him. he's here to help you"

we clutched hands and headed back to my house. justin went to my room and i went to the living room. brendon was sitting at the piano playing my favourite song: lovely by billie eilish.
"hey" i sniffled. he saw me and ran and hugged. "do not run off like that ever again!" he sighed.
"im sorry" i started to cry again. "im so sorry"
"no no its okay!" i fell into his arms, sobbing.
"im sorry dad"

wow that again.
"can we talk?" i whispered.
"yeah of course" he took my hand and we went to the garden. so i spilled. everything and a bit more. i went on to say how sorry i was for what an ass i'd been lately.

"hey i know this is hard. all the change happening. its weird for me too. but we're gonna get through this. together. okay? we'll figure this out. i promise"

i hugged him and sobbed quietly.
"i love you so much" i whispered.
"i love you more"