darling | brendon urie | sequel to "strawberries"

13: "nothings okay"

"hey" justin nudged me.
"don't do that!" i snapped.
he cowered back. "you keep zoning out"
"i keep thinking about sierra" i sighed.
"we don't talk about that bitch in this household" brendon said, walking in and pouring himself a coffee.
"she did such awful shit"
"and said she wants you back"
"how can i even forgive her?"
brendon got involved again. "easy. you don't" he sat next to me looked at what we were doing. "what the fuck"

"uh...its science?" i gulped. we were naming all the hot girls in the neighbourhood.
"you have a girlfriend" he said to me.
"and im a lesbian"
"she's really gay" justin closed the book and put it in his bag. "but the list is for me actually"
"what happened to suzy?" brendon went to get some cream.
"shes gay" he sighed. "i was her cover up"
"damn" brendon ruffled his hair. "hey. you'll find someone. it took her a long time" brendon nodded to me.
"hey-"
he cut me off. "seven years"
"i wasn't out...ugh you have a point"
"exactly" he turned to justin. "it could take a while but you'll find someone"

justin went home and i went to tidy my room. as i was i found some broken glass from yesterdays panic attack. i sighed and threw it away. everyday i had them. i hated it so much.i finished tidying and went to do some homework. i turned on billie eilish and let my ideas spill onto the page. then i bursted out crying.

"hey whats wrong?" brendon turned my music down and walked over to see me sobbing into my palms.
"everything" i sniffled. "nothing seems right. god this is so stupid"
"no it's not" he knelt down and moved my hands. he wrapped his arms round me and i fell into them sobbing.

"nothings okay" i cried.