social | meanie

eleven

wonwoo liked mingyu. that was the only thing he could think of the whole morning. after his talk with soonyoung last night, he only realised his feelings for mingyu. how could he have been so blind?

it all made sense to him now. the way he reacted to anything mingyu did, made his heart flutter. made him blush. relaxed. he felt like the real jeon wonwoo that was sealed away many years ago. he felt like he could smiled more often, without being afraid he was going to be judged by others, taken the mick of and manipulated over and over again.

he hasn't felt these types of feeling ever since...him. although he knew mingyu wouldn't treat him like shit like that fucker back then, he still felt scared.

scared of being alone. scared of being abandoned again. still stuck in the past.

people who he trusted too much always ended up leaving him the end, even when they say they wont. it was always hard for him to try and talk to others, let alone make friends. every time someone would offer to be friends, he would always accept, being that desperate just to have someone he could trust, for once. but he would just make himself more vulnerable to them.

he wasn't surprise when they left, yet, it always left a scar on him for life. he could never learn his lesson.

mingyu invited wonwoo around to his house to show him some of the new books he recently got interested in. you'd never thought mingyu would like books and reading so much but it was all just for wonwoo.

mingyu silently read his book, lying on his bed, whilst wonwoo was just staring up at the ceiling, trying to think of anything that wasn't his feelings for the other male in the room.

too much was on his mind and wanted to ask for mingyu's opinion. "mingyu, can i ask you for advice?" wonwoo said as he looked up at the other boy's face. mingyu nodded.

"well, i have... this friend. h-he, he thinks he feels things for someone but he can't really or doesn't really want to feel this way because of some shit that happened in the past."

"is he sure that he likes the other person?" mingyu asked, closing his book. wonwoo replies,
"maybe... i don't know."

"what does this... friend think about love?" mingyu asked again, looking at wonwoo now.

"he hates it, doesn't believe in it. thinks it's shit. love is something that makes people uncontrollable and lose themselves. he makes himself seem like a horrible person." wonwoo laughs bitterly.
"so he just tries to isolate himself, even if it means he loses friendships he probably never would have kept."

"hmm," mingyu hummed against the skin on his tucked up knees, "i think that person is just... afraid. he's afraid of feeling hurt again... like what happened in the past. what i'd tell him is... to try again. maybe it'll hurt, maybe it wouldn't, maybe they'll be able to find their greatest love if they just open their heart up again. the point is that no one would really know unless they gave it a shot."

mingyu's words stuck to wonwoo. what mingyu explained was exactly wonwoo's case. he seemed like a coward. afraid to not try again. give love another shot.

he didn't know whether or not he should tell mingyu that wonwoo was the 'friend'. he decided against it, mingyu would get to curious and would want to know more.

maybe he'll tell him at a later time, when he was more ready to open up about the delicate subject. or maybe he might never tell mingyu.

maybe just isolate himself so his feelings will go away.

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