Mayans Don't Fear The Reaper

There's Nothing I Wouldn't Do For You

Things were slow and steady the next couple of weeks the only men in Muerte's life that she saw on a daily basis were her father, her brother, Happy who decided to stay in Charming permanently for Muerte's sake, Quinn when he was "taking a break" from Nomading and Juice who she would "run into" in town on occasion, if Juice came up from behind her he would always call out her name before he jogged up beside her and he kept the conversation casual doing his best to allow her to heal though it hurt not being able to hold her, kiss her and love her as she once allowed before he screwed everything up.... Happy was always cautious when he came to see his mom even though he wanted to hug Muerte as soon as he saw her he would wait for her to hug him first just so he knew it was ok he started to worry when he saw extra bruises in certain areas of her body and one night found out how they came to be.... he watched as she hit herself till she was bruised, rubbing till she was red and raw both in and out while she slept and without caring what her parents would think if they saw him in there with her he rushed over taking his jeans off as he did letting them fall to the floor.... but left his boxers on.... before he laid down next to her and held her trying to stop her sleeping form from hurting herself without hurting her in the process he does his best to hold her gently and try to calm her but it only made it worse for she tried to fight him figuring out what she was dreaming about he whispered sweet nothings into her ear and her body finally calms down and nudges itself as close to him as it could as it starts to recognize his voice, scent and touch he combs her hair with his fingers and kisses the top of her head as he allows his now sore body to fall asleep cause as he held her she also clawed at him though he would rather she hurt him than herself he wished he knew how to help her but he was as always clueless in such matters.... the next morning Jax and Muerte meet up at the dog park where Rebel and Demon were once again making friends "how's our beautiful death doin!?!"  Jax asks with a concerned tone "I have no idea!.... I have good days and bad as you've seen.... the nights are worse.... if I don't have Happy or my father.... sometimes Quinn or esè.... laying next to me I'll wake up with bruises all over my chest and arms my.... lower region burns like I rubbed it till it was raw!.... last night I had Happy and I still.... it took him a half an hour to calm me cause he didn't want to make it worse by forcing me to stop.... it was the sound of his voice, knowing that THEY weren't the ones touching me!.... he couldn't even wake me when....! his body was so stiff!.... it only relaxed after I did.... you know that I'm usually a light sleeper but I just couldn't get myself to wake up!.... it's almost as though I'm punishing MYSELF for something I had no control over!.... maybe for "allowing" it to happen.... even with pups there I can't stop it!.... then again all they do is bark at me because just like Hap they had no idea what to do.... their barking wakes up dad and their lucky they don't get in trouble for such a dangerous thing!.... dad minus coffee equals scary!.... especially when he gets woken up!"  Muerte replies Jax laughs "I'm "fixing" this "cold turkey".... not because I HAVE to but because it's the wisest course of action.... as the daughter of the prez of the Mayans I can't show weakness.... not to mention the therapists would probably just give me drugs.... as far as I know it hasn't been distributed as an actually porn video.... it's a shame too!.... think of all the money they could make off it!"  she tells him ending her words with a hint of sarcasm in her tone "Muerte!!"  he exclaims in surprise "sorry!.... this is harder than I make it look Jax!.... seeing Juice.... with or without a naked Crow Eater at his side.... ANY of you guys both Mayan and Reaper.... it's not the place for someone of my mindset!.... that's why I haven't been coming around.... though your mother might think otherwise.... she's the one trying to separate us with the "I'm not good enough" speeches or whatever!.... it's even weirder now.... being with or even around Juice.... I feel like if I get close now I'll just be using him to satisfy a need I shouldn't have to begin with!.... it takes EVERYTHING in me not to become like a Crow Eater!.... I just can't do that!.... but I know MANY of the guys would enjoy that!.... it's probably the main reason there were so many that....! on the bright side there are a few that would kill ANYONE they see me "with" any of them.... even if I'm the one who started it.... you being one of them.... Chibs, Bobby, Tigg, Quinn and the scariest of them all Happy.... HELL even dad and esé would....! though me just as much as them probably!"  she says he chuckles in agreement as she says with words so soft they were almost missed "even Juice might!.... but he's also trying to push me back into his life which doesn't help.... "making up for lost time" that is his.... and Gemma's fault to begin with.... but.... it's too soon!.... having a man in my life at this point in time.... I'm not strong enough yet!.... having one protect me like Cobra tries to do is one thing but what he's trying to do....!"  she stops then asks "why can't he see that!?!.... is he truly that selfish!?!"  she hold back the tears that threaten to fall then says in a soft low voice "I'm sorry!.... I have to go!"  then she lets out a low piercing whistle and her pups jog over to her she waves goodbye to Jax then walks to her Harley waits for her pups to hop into their sidecars and drives off.... Juice was the only Reaper that knew she was pregnant before the rape and she didn't want anyone else to know especially since she lost the baby after the rape was over.... in a way she was glad but mainly she was pissed she was glad because if Gemma knew that she was pregnant she would use the "what if the baby isn't yours!?!.... what if it belongs to one of the many that raped her!?!" the "men" that raped her might have even used that very excuse to "make" her stay with them.... which she never would have done.... with everything that has happened to her by people outside her own she's lost her faith in humanity and yet she would do anything to save it.... as long as it didn't piss her off that is....