But I'm Straight (Phan AU)

Pity & Cuddling (Chapt.17)

(Phil's POV)

I feel really bad for Dan.

He must be in so much pain to hurt himself like that. Dan is the last person I'd think to do that. Well, when I first met him. But recently he's been acting depressed and I think I knew he was probably self harming but didn't want to believe it.

I don't have much experience about self harm nor do I know anyone else who's done it. It's a very sad and horrible thing and I wish it didn't exist.

I want to help Dan through this but I don't know how to. Will he want a psychologist? Or will he want to keep it between us? I don't care as long as it doesn't continue. A world without my best friend would be a world I don't want to live in.

And here I am. Sitting on the beach with Dan's head in my lap, him crying softly and it killed me to see him like that. I'm one of those people that if I see someone else cry, I cry too. Especially Dan.

His eyes rimmed red and red nose and cheeks. His face looking disheveled and his brown hair messy.

"It's true though. All I am is a faggot!" He spat.

"No Dan. You are not a...faggot. And even if you're gay-"

"I'm not my god why do you think I am like your gay ass!" He screamed

"I was just saying if you are.." I explained, wiping a tear with the pad of my thumb.

He sighed, "Phil, I'm sorry I didn't mean to."

"Sh. I know you didn't it's fine." He nodded and I continued rubbing his back.

I didn't even realize how dark it was getting till Dan shivered as a white snowflake melted on his chest. It was now pitch black.

"Here Dan." I handed him my jacket since it was warmer and he put it on.

"Let's go back to my house and I can make you some hot tea." I suggested and he grinned widely.

I felt fingers intertwine and looked up to see Dan blushing lightly.

Damn.

Is this boy bipolar or what.

I opened my door and let him in. The house was dark and I flicked on the kitchen light.

I made him a cup of tea with extra sugar and handed it to him.

He thanked me and took a sip, smacking his lips together.

"Mm. This tastes so good, Phil."

"Thanks. It's my secret recipe." Not really...I just added extra sugar.

He chuckled and he drank it in silence. But it was comfortable silence. Not awkward silence like I experienced with Britt.

He yawned when he was done and I smiled.

"You tired?" I asked and he nodded. He lifted his arms up and I sighed knowing what he wanted.

He wrapped his arms around my neck and I lifted him up, hand on his bum for support.

I almost dropped my apple juice.

I swear to satan, I've held this body just like this before. I can tell. But...where?

I shook my hands from the thoughts and walked upstairs and dropped him into my bed, seeing he was already sleeping.

I giggled. Honestly, he looked absolutely adorable and peaceful. Every once in a while his nose would twitch and he smiled slightly in his sleep. Then he made a noise that didn't sound so innocent to me and I giggled quietly.

Someone was having a naughty dream.

I slid in next to him and he lazily draped his arms around my waste.

I felt the need to protect this broken, frail brown eye'd boy.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

A/N: I'm on a freaking role! I wrote three chapters in one day woohoo! Anyways, thanks to everyone who is reading this story it means a lot <3

ew wtf this is so short

I HAVE 1K READS OMG THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH YOU ARE THE BEST.

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