Song Fic #1 - "Words Fail"

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Combining this tag with the request by ForbiddenLoveMxM1 for a part two to the Mumbo/Grian blood sibling thing, but with angst.

See, I WANT to write happy stuff, but this doesn't help. I'm writing this before I even have a set concept for this and it hurts just to think about what I'm going to have to do...

Honestly I never expected to come back to that blood sibling Grian/Mumbo accidental AU yet here we are. This was asked for don't hurt me ><

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Grian thought everything was fine after that first squabble when he first joined Hermitcraft.

He and Mumbo had sorted it out, set their boundaries, and they were ready for a great time in this server just as friends.

But now there was Mumbo, his wonderful technically-half-brother he loved with all his heart, glaring furiously at the builder with a hatred Grian didn't even know Mumbo could possess.

"Mumbo, it was an accident! I didn't mean ANYTHING! This is just a misunderstanding!" Grian protested, pleading, just trying to get the redstoner to understand what had happened. It hadn't even been Grian who messed up! A zombie had spawned in Mumbo's villager breeder and while it had never really worked correctly in the first place, Mumbo was still working on it and cared about it. Grian was just the one who had called Mumbo, telling him that there was a zombie infestation on the island that was on the far side of Mumbo's base from Grian. He didn't know how or why his brother had come to the conclusion that Grian had set this up, but now Grian was scared and honestly a little hurt.

"No, Grian! This entire season has been nothing but being pestered by you! You don't bother anyone else! Just because we're related doesn't mean a THING here, but you don't seem to understand that!"

"That's not true! I mess with everyone! Doc and Ren, Scar, everyone who entered the pickle shop-"

"But it's MAINLY me. You build incredibly close to me- way closer than anyone else builds to another person. And you always go to me first- there are other redstoners on the server, you know! Go take up some of their time every once in a while! It's not just you!"

Grian flinched at the sudden accusations that were now completely off topic from where they had started. Mumbo's words stung quite a bit. In all honesty, Grian didn't know what to say.

Mumbo stood there, fuming.

Words failed Grian. Is he really THAT mad at him? What was this even about anymore?

Grian quickly turned and placed down a boat. He couldn't even bring himself to fly for the dramatic exit- Grian's energy had disappeared with the ability to make a retort and flying didn't seem appealing at all. He shoved off the cubically-terraformed island and started rowing away from both their bases. Grian drowned himself in work enough, trying to make as much progress as possible to keep up with the other twenty million things that were going on on the server, he didn't feel like doing more to distract himself from the mild betrayal he felt.

Grian came across whatever landmass that was to the south of Xisuma's guardian temple base. He allowed the boat to softly crunch onto the sand... he didn't care that it was going to be a struggle to get the boat back into the water, or that the sun was beating onto his back, or that this was a roofed forest where monsters spawned in daylight. Too many thoughts were running through his head.

Mumbo's mad at me.

I'm not fit for this. I can't do this.

I'm an outsider in this server.

My only connection here is Mumbo. Did I really bother him that much, just trying to be a friendly brother?

Was I intruding on his space even after I promised not to?

I'm such a horrible brother... I'm a horrible person, a horrible builder... Can't even finish the stupid tower without getting distracted! I bet everyone thinks I'm some childish idiot who can't keep up with the rest of the server! I should have stayed in Evo! At least I wasn't bothering anyone there!

He didn't remember allowing tear to fall down his face- normally he brushed off these insecurities with pep talks of being invited and that no one had known Grian and Mumbo were brothers. That he was here because Xisuma and the rest of the hermits had thought that he was a good fit for the server. But with the chaos, the mischief, the grand plans and energy Grian brought, the stuff that his brother always claimed to overshadow his own successes, the way people give Grian more space than they do their closer friends... was he really?

He found that he had wandered into a hole in the ground- the entrance to a cave system. Grian slid down the smooth stone wall and buried his head in his knees, finally failing to keep his emotions in check as silent waterfalls flowed.

Why does Mumbo never understand that I'm just trying to be a good brother? I never MEAN to be overbearing, and I thought I did a good job of watching myself...

His thoughts flashed back to their childhood. Grian, as the older sibling, was always helping out their mother while Mumbo's father took care of the toddler. Grian's father had never been a part of either of their lives. Then his stepfather got "sick" they called it- Grian still had never seen anyone get like how he did. He ended up dying, and not coming back... So little Grian, simply Charles at the time, was the main man of the family.

And then they grew up. Grian was more popular, making more friends and connections, and all the people he met were nice, completely amazing and wonderful people, but he couldn't help but feel like an outsider in the Evo server. His base was so far away, and he never made friends like the Mafia did or the Property Police or even the girls with each other. And then he saw Mumbo, having a blast on this server with people he was truly friends with... and Grian wanted that.

Was it so hard to feel like he fit in for once in his life? Hang out with some people that liked building ridiculous stuff just to BUILD, not just for a video? That's how it always felt, chilling with DomRao and Pearl and his other build helpers.

It all seemed so simple. So easy, so natural and perfect. So why was it is so hard to get?

I guess maybe it's just me. Mumbo seems alright by himself. Maybe I'm just not meant to have friends like this. I shouldn't have come here. I shouldn't have joined Hermitcraft. I'm just... in the way...

Just some silly builder, one of hundreds. Just a naive child in an adult's body. Not even confident enough in himself to stand up to his brother when they had a row. Yeah, Grian was insecure, pathetic, hurt, and alone. Thankfully it was easy to pretend to be more than those broken parts.

The sun shone in the bright blue sky above, but the forest floor where Grian sheltered was dark and damp. He stared at the glittering, mocking, dappled shadows and leaves around him- those little pockets of light and happiness that kept him going, but always surrounded by a dark truth... that he was alone.

"How can I... step into the sun?" Grian asked out loud, looking to the treetops, to the sky, to anyone looking down at him.

Step into the sun...

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I was gonna use the actual lyrics but I couldn't figure out how to make it work sooooooo there's the song and I think you can get the influences of the song

Also, uh, no part 3 unless you guys give me a good concept :)

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