Lance: Why is Iceland called Iceland and Greenland called Greenland when it would make sense if the names were the other way around
Pidge: I can answer this one
Lance: Wait I don't care
Keith: Vikings and shit
Lance: How are you guys anyway
Keith: Absolutely perfect man
Keith: It's not like it's five am and you just woke me up with a stupid question or anything
Lance: That's good to hear ^-^
Keith: It was sarcasm!!
Lance: Does it look like I care?
Keith: I can't see you
Lance: Oh yeah lol
Lance: Do my texts make it look like I care?
Pidge: Someone's sassy today
Lance: My middle name IS sass for a reason
Shiro: You told me your middle name was razzle dazzle the other day
Lance: You can have more than one middle name right
Shiro: I don't know
Keith: Razzle dazzle
Lance: You called
Keith: Guess what
Lance: What
Keith: You're a loser
Lance: Ouch
Pidge: Good one Keith *high fives*
Keith: *high fives*
Lance: And once again you all gang up on me
Hunk: Me and Shiro are remaining neutral
Keith: Shiro
Shiro: I'm on Keith's side
Lance: SHIRO
Shiro: He scares me
Hunk: I'm neutral
Lance: I thought we were friends Hunk
Hunk: Sorry man
Pidge: Do you want to know a fun fact?
Keith: Sure
Pidge: Lance once told me about a time he met a girl and he went up to her and just did finger guns and said razzle dazzle
Lance: You weren't supposed to tell anyone about that
Keith: Tell me more
Keith: How'd the girl respond?
Lance: ...
Pidge: She shouted "what the fuck" apparently
Keith: Everyone's natural reaction upon seeing Lance
Lance: This is bullying
Pidge: I think it goes without saying that Lance didn't get a date that day
Keith: RAZZLE DAZZLE
Pidge: RAZZLE DAZZLE BITCH
Shiro: Language
Pidge: No
Hunk: You know Lance once accidentally asked a teacher out in school
Pidge: TELL ME MORE
Keith: Interesting
Hunk: He thought she was a student
Lance: She was pretty okay
Hunk: Yeah yeah
Lance: I'm hurt by you all
Keith: Good
Lance: I have to go now
Keith: Okay bye
Lance: Bye...
Pidge: I hope you know we were joking
Lance: I do because you love me really :P
Keith: Of course we do Lance.
YOU ARE READING
The Adventures of SpaceDad and Children
FanfictionA text fic following the lives of the Voltron paladins! TW: Homophobia, suicide attempt, brief mentions of self-harm/drug use/abuse/PTSD. I know this makes the story sound really angsty but I can assure you it's more humorous than sad! I mean, I wro...
