You don't understand how many times my phone froze because the document I had this story written on is over 100 pages long. It's a wild ride kids.
Sharpshooter added EmoKid to the chat!
Sharpshooter added HunkHonk to the chat!
Sharpshooter added Pigeon to the chat!
Sharpshooter added SpaceDad to the chat!
Lance: Hi I thought it'd be cool to introduce u guys since ur all chill
Keith: How do you know Shiro
Lance: We're bros
Shiro: I thought I was your dad
Lance: U r
Shiro: How can I be a bro and a dad
Keith: Yeah explain that Lance
Pidge: May I suggest using some grammar
Lance: Wow I made this chat for all my friends but now ur ganging up on me
Keith: I like the Pigeon one
Pidge: Thanks I like you too
Lance: I might as well leave now and let u bond on ur own
Keith: Okay bye
Lance: Ouch
Hunk: Guys leave Lance alone
Pidge: No
Keith: No
Shiro: Tell him to use proper grammar
Hunk: You're his dad that's your job
Shiro: Use proper grammar
Lance: How about nO
Keith: How about yes or I'll come to your house in the middle of the night and stab you
Lance: Ha jokes on you I want to die
Hunk: Lance...
Lance: Yeet
Keith: I threw up in my mouth a little
Shiro: Drink water
Keith: What not literally
Lance: Stay hydrated kids
Shiro: Yes
Shiro: For once in my life I agree with Lance
Lance: :)
Pidge: Don't agree with Lance
Pidge: He has the same amount of brain cells as a tree
Lance: rUde
Hunk: Yes so rude
Lance: aNyWaYs
Lance: I feel like you guys need to get to know each other so I think introductions are a good idea. Pronouns, where you're from, age and a fun fact go go go
Shiro: He/him, I'm from Japan but I live in the USA now. I'm 25. I'm not Lance's real dad
Lance: They knew that
Shiro: It was a fun fact
Keith: He/him, I'm from Texas but I live in Arizona and I'm 18
Lance: And your fun fact my good Sir?
Keith: I keep a knife under my pillow at all times and I'm willing to use it if you ever call me "my good Sir" ever again
Lance: Moving on
Pidge: They/them, I'm Italian. I'm 15. Coffee runs through my veins instead of blood
Lance: Noice
Shiro: I'm a 25 year old speaking to a 15 year old interesting
Lance: You're underage Pigeon
Pidge: Are you insinuating me and Shiro are going to have sex
Keith: Hunk I think it's your turn
Hunk: He/him, I'm from Samoa and I'm 17. I love cooking more than I love myself
Lance: I'll round up even though you know me
Lance: I'm Cuban, 17, use he/him pronouns and...
Lance: I'm dEaD iNsIdE
Keith: Same dude same
Pidge: Aren't we all a little dead inside
Shiro: Uh... no?
YOU ARE READING
The Adventures of SpaceDad and Children
FanficA text fic following the lives of the Voltron paladins! TW: Homophobia, suicide attempt, brief mentions of self-harm/drug use/abuse/PTSD. I know this makes the story sound really angsty but I can assure you it's more humorous than sad! I mean, I wro...