Maybe this time

35

Jema's

Been observing my daughter Dionne for the past few days already.

I'm really worried about her tobbe honest. Lage ko sinasabi kay Deanna na  Dionne isn't in her usual self. Yes she shows to everyone that she's happy, she's ok, that she's the in her usual self but I know my daughter well I know she's not ok.

I don't like her keeping everything in herself, I don't want her to pretend that she's ok.

I don't want her to be like Deanna, Ayaw ko umabot sa punto na talikuran niya lahat dahil sa sobra sobra na yung sakit.

I'm aware of everything, kasama ko siya sa training at nakikita ko ang lahat.

One time while on training, a guy approach Cass he brings snacks for her and  I can see the pain in her eyes.

My baby is hurting.

"Lalim naman ng iniisip mo, baka may iba ka na ha." Deanna came out of nowhere.

"Baliw, sa tanda na natin na to maghahanap pa ako ng iba."

"Well parang hindi ka naman tumanda eh, you still look the same from the first time I staredown you." She said smiling.

"Love where married na, hindi mo na kailangan mambola, ano ba need mo " I joke at her.

"You, I will always need you." she said and she back hugged me.

I lean on her habang tinitingnan ko yung anak ko sa nasa labas.

"Tingnan mo yang anak natin oh,  ang lalim na naman ng iniisip." I said to Deanna ng makita namin si Dionne sa labas magisa habang naggigitara.

"She'll be fine, masyado ka nag aalala." She said

"She's starting to be like you keeping her emotion in herself, hihintayin pa ba natin na mapuno yan at sumabog nalang siya?"

"Love, that will never happen andito tayo, you need to let her feel that, let her feel the pain, bigyan mo siya ng chance to fix it by herself."

Kumalas ako sa pag kakayakap niya.

"Anong hayaan Deanna, hindi ko kaya yun, bakit ba ganyan ka sa mga anak natin you always let them do this do that tingnan mo tuloy  nangyari kay Dionne."

"Hey hey mag aaway ba tayo?" She calm me down.

"Wala ka ba tiwala sa anak natin? Dionne is tough she can do that pag hindi niya na kaya lalapit yan satin, she needed that for her to grow, for her to understand what she really is, na hindi lahat tanggap tayo, there will always be someone that will not accept her, tapos minsan kung sino pa yung pinaka mahalaga sayo siya pa yung makakasakit sayo, she needs to understand the essence of self love and respect." She explained

"I know you're worried about her, ikaw yung mama niya, you will always protect her, but remember this   even a baby needs to fall down a couple of times for it to learn how to walk. Let her be, I know pag hindi niya na kaya you will be the first one na hahanapin niya." She hugged me.

I can't help but to cry.

My poor baby, why does she needs to undergo on this just like us.

Ayaw ko pagdaanan niya yung mga pinangdaanan namin ni Deanna.

Hindi ko ata kakayanin na makita siyang labis na nasasaktan.

Totoo nga ang sabi nila doble ang sakit na mararamdaman ng Ina pag anak na niya ang nasasaktan.