TWENTY

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Doyoung drives back to work, hoping to make up for the time wasted on Heiran and Taeyong. The silence during the drive is relaxing, and it envelopes him like a warm blanket. At the back of his mind, he thinks of the recent events of his life. Things have been more chaotic than usual. At first, the tsunamis of irregularity had unsettled Doyoung, throwing him around and making a mockery of his ordered lifestyle. At least now, Doyoung has a life jacket and a boat. Everything is wrong, but he at least feels somewhat prepared.

Nevertheless, even if Doyoung is now able to ride the waves without freaking out, there's still something off and unsettling. The fly is gone and is now replaced by a cold breath on the back of his neck, and he doesn't know who or what is behind it. It would be cheesy to say that Doyoung is an emotionless robot, yet he thinks he sort of is. Emotions come from experiences and until now, there hadn't been any experiences to invite such emotions.

He sighs to himself and tries not to think too much about it. After all, it's when he doesn't think that things feel okay. But even that is not okay because thinking is the only thing that Doyoung knows he can do right.

When he hears his phone ring, he puts it on speaker. "Assistant Kang? What is it?"

The voice struggles to speak, as if the words about to be let out are warning the speaker to keep them in. Ms. Kang clears her throat. "Mrs. Kim called."

A chill immediately runs up Doyoung's arms and settles into his stomach like an ice-cold rock. He swallows the air in his throat and tries to speak without letting his voice shake. "Thank you for letting me know." He hangs up and tries to remind himself how to breathe.

Right. This is the familiar feeling. No matter how many people barge into his life, saying that they'll make him feel better, it doesn't change the fact that it's always been like this. Doyoung is back in the tsunami with nothing to help him. There's cold wind slapping him in the face and freezing waters dragging him down, inviting him to sink in.

This is how it always is. Doyoung is alone and he always will be.

He is back to square one.

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