Sun & Moon

FORTY NINE

Taeyong only feels numb all over. He lies in bed and stares at the ceiling, his body motionless except for his fingers energetically tapping the blanket. He can't quite bring himself to think; as soon as he does, guilt and a sense of self-loathing engulfs him. He is upset with his own reaction as much as he is shocked that Doyoung has ever seen him as more than a friend.

It's not like Taeyong ever saw Doyoung as anything but a friend. But it confuses Taeyong because it's only because he could never imagine it. Kim Doyoung? A corporate heir? There's no way he'd even allow himself to fall for someone so out of reach like that. But Doyoung did exactly that. Doyoung had looked past their differences and saw Taeyong for who he was. It stings Taeyong's chest all the way to the pit of his stomach because he hadn't done the same. He feels shallow.

Taeyong's mind wanders towards possibilities he wants to slap himself for thinking of. What if he just looked at Kim Doyoung? Not as a corporate heir but as the gentle and quiet man he is? A man who is more thoughtful than he knows himself, and a man who is comforting in his silent understanding? Taeyong nearly kicks his blankets in frustration. He thinks he's unfair and terrible for thinking of this now and not before.

A groan escapes his mouth. He thinks he's terrible, he truly does. He closes his eyes shut, trying to fall asleep. It is hours before he does, but all he can think of until then is how he owes it to Doyoung to help him move on.

. . .

"Taeyong, I have someone I want you to meet," the producer tells Taeyong who has just arrived at work.

The words barely register in Taeyong's throbbing mind. He can't tell if it's from the lack of sleep or from the stress he's had thinking of Doyoung, but the back of his head burns in pain. "What?"

"This is Sung Yookyung. You know her right? She anchors the 7:00 A.M. news."

The woman standing beside the producer smiles warmly. "You did a great job last time, Taeyong," she says.

Taeyong can only nod as he barely follows along.

"She's pregnant," the producer continues.

"Uhhhh," Taeyong drawls, not really sure how to answer. "Congratulations, I guess?"

Yookyung laughs brightly and shakes her head at the producer. "Taeyong, I'll be moving to somewhere a bit more local. Since I'm starting a family and all, I wanted to go somewhere a bit more suburban. I think you'll be a great replacement for my time slot."

Taeyong's eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "Really?" The severity of his headache suddenly feels minuscule.

"So do you want it or not?" the producer asks impatiently.

"Of course!" Taeyong grins widely. "Good luck with your kid!" he says, turning to Yookyung and shaking her hand.

. . .

Taeyong finds himself in Sungyeol's room again, lying on his bed and counting the number of times his own chest rises. With the school year having been started, Sungyeol's computer is turned off, and he concentrates deeply on his textbooks and homework. Taeyong can't help but feel slightly bad for interrupting his moment of concentration, but he finds it in himself to do it anyways.

"I feel like so much has happened," Taeyong slowly says, glancing sideways at Sungyeol.

Sungyeol gently closes his book. "I was going to take a break anyways." He swivels in his chair to face towards Taeyong. "What do you mean?"