Sun & Moon

THIRTY THREE

The biting breeze seems to almost tickle Taeyong's nose, gently nipping at it until it turns red. Taeyong sits at a bench outside, staring at the trees. There are small buds of flowers, hinting at the arrival of spring. He sighs in content, grateful for the change of seasons. His heart thumps against his chest, an obvious yet underappreciated sign of his own vitality.

He sees Seulmin walking towards him with two cups in her hands. When she sits down next to Taeyong at the bench, she hands him one of the foam cups. A rapid yet alleviating warmth spreads in his hands, and he graciously takes a sip of the tea.

The two sit together in silence while enjoying their drinks. It does not feel awkward but inviting and calm. Taeyong glances at Seulmin and notices that she has braided a part of her hair to go behind her ear. Her cheeks are softly tinged pink, and Taeyong also notices a wrinkle by her mouth before realizing it must be a smile line, staining her face from years of laughter. Even now, the corners of her lips are slightly turned up, as if she is enjoying every serene moment glancing by.

After a few minutes of silence, the two finish their drinks. "How are you?" Seulmin finally asks. She chuckles after saying that, realizing how the casualness of the question can seem kind of silly. "And I'm asking because I want to know. Not to make conversation," she adds.

Taeyong smiles and laughs a little as well. "I don't think I've ever been happier." He pauses. "Well, in general. In general, I'm really good. But there are little details that I don't want to nitpick at."

Seulmin hums as she thinks for a bit. "What do you mean?"

"I'm really happy with how things are now. But I feel like if I get annoyed at the small things, I'm not appreciating where I've reached." Taeyong looks down at his lap, a bit surprised at the sudden depth of the conversation but also grateful for being able to finally say it out loud.

"I don't think it's wrong for you to be dissatisfied with small things," Seulmin says after a while. "Everyone deserves to be as happy as possible. Even if you're at your best, you always deserve better." She smiles softly. "I feel like you needed to hear that. You can be a bit selfish for yourself, you know."

The mood of the conversation sounds awfully familiar to Taeyong. He only nods. Selfish? Taeyong couldn't possibly even think about asking for more than what he has right now. "What about you then?"

Seulmin hums again, swinging her legs a bit. "Hmm. I think I'm alright too. The little things could be better for me also. And I think they will be, eventually." She glances at the ground. Taeyong does too and notices that the heels of her boots are slightly worn down.

"Do you know how to drive?" he asks, curious and suddenly wanting to know more about his friend.

"No. I only ever walk or use public transportation."

"What's your favorite food?"

"Probably a hot pot or stew? Lots of different types of ingredients in one dish. Healthy and yummy."

"What do you look for in a person?"

"Honesty, perseverance, and appreciation for the small things around them." Seulmin suddenly laughs. It's a strong laugh with her head slightly thrown back and a tinge of glee to it. "What's all this about?"

"Want to ask me anything?" Taeyong continues on without answering, grinning.

"Let me think." She pauses for a bit. "What were you like as a child?" she says, turning her face to look at him. Her eyes are bright and alluring; Taeyong feels like he can tell her anything without receiving any judgment in return.

"I liked playing outside. I worked hard in school so I could make my mom happy. But I wasn't super smart. Kind of 'just enough.'" He tilts his head back and looks at the clouds above him. "I liked talking to people."

"Truthfully, I'd imagine that the way you are now is not too different from when you were a kid. What about high school? And college?"

Taeyong sighs. "Um, my mom passed away. But I had a really good friend. So I'd try to stay over at his house as much as I could. His mom is so nice. It was also, like, a moment of reality for me. I studied super hard so I could try to get a scholarship or something, but I also had to work so I could even afford college. I ended up going to some average one nearby my old home." Taeyong winces a bit, thinking back. His teenage years had felt so lifeless and tedious. He suddenly feels immensely grateful for his growth to his current place of happiness.

"You're amazing," Seulmin sighs out. The words are absolutely genuine and meaningful. "You really are." She looks him in the eyes and beams.

Taeyong feels his cheeks go hot. "Oh my gosh," he says quickly, trying to turn his face away. "Thanks." He can't feel the air around him and now curses the seasons for changing. Had it been colder, there's no way he'd be blushing this much.

The two continue to sit and talk, but Taeyong's heart never quite settles. It beats nervously against his chest. Things have never felt so easy.