Sun & Moon

FIFTY TWO

Doyoung and Taeyong sit next to each other, their shoulders centimeters away from touching. The waves gently lap the shore, only a few meters away from their bare toes. A box of fried chicken accompanies the two. It sits between them and already has a little bit of sand scattered in it from Taeyong's carelessness.

Doyoung leans back, his hands supporting him as his fingers dig into the cool sand. The ocean fragrance wafts around him as does the salty air. There is only the sound of the gentle sea in front of him and Taeyong chugging soda at an abnormal speed.

"Ahh, that was good," Taeyong says, wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his hoodie. He takes off his glasses and shoves them in his pocket before stretching his arms out. He allows himself to fall back on the sand. "You know what I think of when I come to the beach?"

"What?" Doyoung asks calmly.

"This is a cat's infinite litterbox."

There is silence. It wasn't an answer Doyoung had been expecting, but at the same time, it's so Taeyong-esque that he isn't surprised. Instead of replying, Doyoung just watches the waves go back and forth. Had Taeyong told him in advance they'd be traveling this far, Doyoung might have thrown him out the car and onto the road. But he's already here, and he doesn't think complaining will change things so he enjoys it instead.

It's calm and relaxing like never before. It's not often that Doyoung allows himself to just sit and do nothing. He takes a sip of his soda, which is cold and fresh. He is thankful that Taeyong used up his one brain cell to add ice in the cooler, but unfortunately, it seems like that was his good idea for the day. The chicken is also as cold as the drinks.

Doyoung reluctantly grabs the least sandy piece and eats it after blowing on it a little. Although it isn't very appetizing, he feels full regardless.

Taeyong stares at the sky, looking for a star, but he can't find any. "When I was little... Actually no, up until a while ago, I thought the moon was bright on its own," he says casually. Before Doyoung can even respond to the "a while ago" part, Taeyong holds up a finger to shush him, without even looking. "It's actually reflecting the sun's light. Isn't that really cool? We get to see how pretty and cool it is thanks to the sun."

"You're right," Doyoung says instead, his voice quiet.

"There's also the stories about it too. I like the ones where it's all romantic with the sun and moon in love. But then I realized it's kind of sad. They can't ever meet each other. Or there's even one about them sacrificing themselves for each other." Doyoung begins to think that Taeyong could actually be very poetic and thoughtful, but Taeyong opens his mouth again, ruining the notion. "Aren't we so weird? We made up love stories about a giant-ass rock and a giant-er-ass ball of gas." He grabs a piece of chicken and begins to eat it, sand and all.

This is ridiculous, Doyoung thinks to himself.

Before he can even speak, Taeyong blurts out, "Why do you like me?"

The question makes Doyoung pause. It's an innocent and curious question. He doesn't find it uncomfortable at all, and rather, it's something that Doyoung had wondered for the longest time as well.

"I don't know," Doyoung finally says. He thinks he does.

"Well, that makes sense. It's not like you pick and choose who you like. Feelings like that just happen." Taeyong shrugs and sighs. He sits up, sand falling from his hair as he does so. "I'm really sorry for everything," he says. His voice is more honest and raw than usual. It makes Doyoung's heart ache, just the smallest bit. "I'm sorry you liked someone like me. And I'm most sorry that I didn't look past your career and reputation. This whole time, you were looking at me as a person. Yet I always kept your position at the back of my mind."

"You don't have to feel sorry about anything. You didn't do anything wrong." The words seem to slip out of Doyoung's mouth so easily. His chest feels relieved of burden; he is always able to say exactly what he wants now.

"But I did!" Taeyong's eyes are wide. "If I even bothered to just treat you as a normal person, maybe..." Taeyong trails off.

Maybe I would have liked you too.

Taeyong doesn't say it. There's no way he could. That's too unfair.

Taeyong's head suddenly feels like it's stuffed with cotton. The conversation makes him truly realize what he's done. Now that he's come upon the topic, he can actually imagine himself in love with Doyoung.

Doyoung is kind. Doyoung is smart. Doyoung is gentle and quiet, and although he acts like he's allergic to Taeyong, he's stuck by him this whole time. Doyoung is calm like a spring wind. But he's also fleeting, and Taeyong knows it's too late.

No. Oh no.

Doyoung tilts his head a bit in question, waiting for Taeyong to say something. However, Taeyong doesn't know what he will say. A million possibilities run through his mind, and he considers what would be right and what would be wrong.

"What is it?" Doyoung asks.

Doyoung is honest. Doyoung told him the truth at the end so maybe, Taeyong should too. No matter what the consequences are.

Okay. Fine. Fuck it.

Taeyong takes a deep breath.

"Kim Doyoung!" He grabs Doyoung's shoulders and looks right into his confused, wide eyes. "I think I like you!"