Stucky: New Beginnings (BOOK 1)

Reality is a nightmare

Bucky spent the next few days just moping around. Most of the time he was laying on the couch under what seemed like ten blankets just watching sad movies and eating ice cream after ice cream after ice cream.

Whenever someone tries talking to him he just flipped them off or started talking in Russian so they'd have to leave and get Natasha to translate and whenever Steve went by him to ask him what was wrong he'd just turn to face the other way and bury himself further under the blankets refusing to even look at him.

"This is pathetic Barnes! It's been what? Three weeks? That's like an entire month. Do something productive or at least talk to Steve! You've started depressing him! He won't stop asking us if he did something to annoy you!" Natasha shouted at him wanting to watch a movie where someone didn't end up dead!

"Единственная продуктивная вещь, которую я могу сделать, это позволить кому-то застроить меня и избавить меня от моих страданий, Нат." Bucky mumbled.

"The only productive thing I can do is let someone shoot me and save me from this misery, Nat"

"You don't mean that." Natasha said.

"You wanna bet?!"

Natasha sighed and walked away. She tries and tries but nothing she says works.

"Your turn." She said to Tony.

"No it's my turn. He has to talk to me at some point right?!" Steve said walking out of the kitchen and over to Bucky.

"Buck whats wrong? Are you not feeling well? Do you want us to take you to the hospital?" Steve asked him.

"если любовь к моему лучшему другу не является симптомом, то нет, я не болен, я в порядке. можно подумать, что после семидесяти лет пыток я уже не могу быть мёртвым внутри, кроме как теперь я. кто думал?"

"If being in love with my best friend isnt a symptom then no I'm not sick I'm fine. You'd think that after seventy years of torture I couldn't be more dead inside except I am. Who'd' ve thought?"

"I don't speak Russian Bucky! Come on! Talk to me in English!"

"Don't you have a date that your like ten minutes late for?"

"I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong."

"What's wrong is that I fell off a train and survived. I lost my arm, was kidnapped by Hydra, they experimented on me, tortured and brainwashed me, you dove into the water and froze for decades after letting the government experiment on you even though it could've killed you, you became a super hero and I became a villain, a murderous assassin, I attacked you and tried to kill you, you forgave me even though it almost cost you your life, I murdered thousands of people, I look twenty even though I'm a hundred something and should've died almost a century ago. I should be locked in a cell for killing all those people if not killed for it and somehow you all managed to let it slide and I still feel like Tony's going to kill me in my sleep for killing his parents and I wouldn't care if he did in fact I'd be glad if he did. Oh and did I mention that I didn't even want to be in the military? I begged and begged for them not to make me because you were always getting sick and I was worried you'd die if I left but turns out military people make butt loads of money. Money that could pay for the apartment we had and all your medicines and food every day. So what if I ended up dead at least you'd be safe but you went and put yourself in danger and when I fell off that train the only thing I thought was "thank god it's me and not him." Shall I go on?!"

Everyone just stayed where they were after Buckys outburst.

"I thought so. Now go on your damn date Steve. My life's already ruined. I won't ruin yours." He said getting up and walking away.