Jenalyn: From the Inside (#3) [Complete]

Chapter 10: Mama Gold

Sunday, 3:54 P.M. EST

The check-in process at this place is horrible!

You'd think that they would be more organized because of how much they're charging, but the people running the front desk just seem incompetent!

"How are you, sweetie?" I ask as soon as they allow Hayden out for visitation. "I brought you a few things from home! I know you didn't ask, but-"

She cuts me off, catching onto my sympathetic demeanor. This definitely isn't the tone that I'd usually use with her, but I'm not heartless. I know that she's going through some things, and my job as her mother is to try to be sensitive to that.

Maybe that's where I went wrong.

"Thanks. Harper didn't come?" she asks, her voice quiet and weak; it's almost as if she's embarrassed. She lowers herself onto the chair across from me, her arms folding defensively over her chest.

I knew she was going be disappointed to find that Harper didn't tag along; that she'd probably ignore the fact that I showed up, just to dwell on Harper's absence. They're close- I know that! But maybe this is another part of Hayden's recovery process: seeing that one way or another, her actions will have consequences.

"Your sister wanted to be here today," I say after a few moments of questioning how to respond. "But she felt that your first visitation should be with me."

I can see that she questions my response a little too hard. I don't expect her to respond right away, but she quickly sits up and clears her throat.

"You guys don't want to get rid of me?" she asks directly, surprising me.

I gasp because I'm not sure how to answer that question without making it so apparent that she's adopted.

I know it's not a secret to any of us: It's never been! But after some serious thinking, I realized that was a part of the problem! She kept running back to her old life because she didn't feel like an actual part of the new one.

"No, sweetie! Never!" I say after a few seconds of being speechless. "You aren't just a spare part we've been toting around! You're family! You don't just get rid of family members because they screw up a little!"

Hayden rolls her eyes, but I'm thankful to know her well enough to recognize the glimpse of relief across her face.

"That wasn't a little screw-up..." she mumbles, lowering her eyes as she falters off.

I don't even want to think about it...

Yes, I was infuriated when I found Hayden at this scummy motel in Philadelphia: drugged out and pregnant with my first grandchild!

I'd have to be insane not to have been upset! I invested everything from the bottom of my heart, to the bottom of my bank to make sure she could have a better life than the one she was given!

I'm a tough woman; anyone who knows me could tell you that; But seeing her like that hurt me!

I've had a lot of time to reflect on everything. Even in my decision to admit her to this mental rehabilitation center was an effort to help her!

I didn't do this to try and limit the amount of stress sitting in my hands. I didn't do this to make damned sure the girl couldn't sneak out again, fly across the country, and somehow consume over 13 different drugs in 16 hours. I didn't even do it because I was mad at her!

I did it because she needs to spend this time talking to a team of mental health professionals. She needs help; everything in her life has changed!

I'm sure that the girl I know and love... the one that I adopted into my family because she stole our hearts, is somewhere inside of her. But I recognize that there may also be another part of her that still lives in her past. She just needs a little help organizing things up there.

"Well, that's what you're here for!" I tell her, reaching across the table to gently squeeze her hand. "To prevent larger screw-ups from happening in the future! Have you spoken to a doctor yet?"

Hayden shakes her head, her demeanor still pretty introverted. She's giving more than I expected her to though, so I'm not going to complain.

"I didn't leave my room until today," she says, in almost a mumble amongst all of the clamor of the other kids visiting their families. "If I don't see the doctor today, I will tomorrow."

I nod my head understandingly for her sake; I personally don't understand why they'd allow her to sit in a room for four days when I'm paying them for their psychological treatment. If I were alright with her just sitting in a room, I'd have her do that at home.

"Are you taking this thing seriously, Hayden Victoria?" I can't help from asking as my mind wanders a little too far on the question.

Her face grows all too familiar. It's the face she wears the moment someone questions her or her intentions.

"As seriously as I can!" she sighs, taking a moment to glance around the room before turning back to me. "You realize I'm locked in a place with a bunch of crazies, right? These people have been here for weeks, and have no control over their 'disorders.' How serious could I possibly get?"

I roll my eyes, flashing Hayden a quick scowl before repositioning myself on the chair. "I think the mere fact that you think you have control over your 'disorders' speaks volume," I say with my tone stern.

Hayden's face flattens. "Well..." she sighs after a few seconds, shrugging her shoulders. She glances around the room again, a look of doubt spread across her face. "I guess we'll see."