Jenalyn: From the Inside (#3) [Complete]

Chapter 89: Hayden

Sunday, 4:16 PM EST

I feel a little more myself after coming out to take a break with Ryan. I’m still a little off, but it could be worse.

“Thanks for helping me out with this Ren shit,” I tell Ryan, filling the silence as we rummage through our minds anticipating tonight. “I know you don’t want to do it, but Sarah and I really do appreciate it… Probably everyone else, too.”

Ryan’s head snaps toward me, his brows furrowing in confusion. “Sarah?” he asks. “What the hell does Sarah have to do with any of this?”

I didn’t think about it when I said it, but now I have no choice but to explain. 

“It’s silly stuff,” I disclaim before piecing together an explanation. It doesn’t take long to come up with one. “Sarah reminds me a lot of myself as a kid, and Ren is a fucking monster! I wish I had someone to fight my monsters away… so, Voila!”

His expression doesn’t change. I’m not sure how I expected him to respond, but I was hoping we wouldn’t have to go into it anymore.

No such luck.

“That sounds ridiculous,” he says, flattening his brows. “This whole time it’s been about ‘you and Ren, you and Ren, you and Ren. You mean to tell me now, all of a sudden, that this whole big bang of a conclusion is about Sarah and Ren?”

How am I supposed to respond right now? I wasn’t expecting him to question it like that…

I’m stuck here with my mouth agape until he fills the silence he left between us. 

“I don’t mean to sounds like an asshole, but,” he begins after a second. He cocks his eyebrows up in concern. “That explanation is definitely you deflecting!!”

I can’t help myself from turning to him with my brows furrowed in offense. “What the hell does that mean?” I ask, my tone matching the discontent his words made me feel on the inside.

Ryan lets out a nervous laugh but clears his throat to respond anyway. “I don't mean anything by it!” he exclaims, holding his palms out defensively. “But this has nothing to do with Sarah! She may signify one of your ‘personalities’ up there, but the actual Sarah plays no role in this! You’re using her!”

It’s taking a lot out of me not to snap on this kid, and make him regret having opened his mouth in the first place.

He doesn’t know a damned thing about me to be making those kinds of accusations!

“Do not analyze me, Ryan,” I tell him, my voice a lot calmer than I feel inside. “This is one of my last days here; Don’t spend it on my bad side.”

He looks offended, but I can’t bring myself to care. Right now, he’s one of the many reasons I can’t wait to leave this place.

I don’t say that to him though; Jena still needs him.

“I’m sorry…” Ryan mumbles after a few moments. I can tell by the look on his face that he doesn’t know what else to say. 

“It’s fine,” I force myself to mutter for Jena’s sake. I let out a small sigh, trying to cool the nerves that he sparked. “Anyway, do you have a joint, or a shot or something for Ren? She was bugging me about it earlier.”

He nods his head, his face resembling a child that was just scolded by his mother. “Yeah, I got it,” he mumbles under his breath.

A few tense minutes pass, neither one of us able to bring ourselves to crack. 

He’s the first to break the silence.

“Can I still come to get you a while after they escort her down? I’ll make sure the coast is clear,” he says, his demeanor shifted all of a sudden. “It’s your last night here, and I was really hoping to-”

He doesn’t have to finish before Jena takes over, responding in a tone that doesn’t match the one I’d held.

“Don’t be silly, Ryan!” she giggles. She reaches her hand out to playfully shove him. “You think I could leave without spending one more night with you?”