Jenalyn: From the Inside (#3) [Complete]

Chapter 17: Hayden

Monday, 11:01 A.M. EST

I guess it’s a good thing Ren woke me up when she did. A few minutes after walking out into the community room, an older woman wearing glasses that practically fell off her nose called me to the lobby on the loudspeaker. 

Apparently, I was just in time for my appointment with Dr. Reyborn, the children’s ward psychologist/psychiatrist that these kids' parents are paying for.

“You don’t have a long file, Hayden. You didn’t receive any long-term treatment prior to being adopted by the Gold family?” She asks as she shuffles through a few papers she pulled from a folder.

I’ve gone to therapy, but it never worked out so it wasn’t something I’d kept up with. I’d only go long enough for them to diagnose me with some crazy mental disorder- which I would then deny, clam up, and eventually skip out on all the appointments. 

If Jena did all of that, and she’s the person we’re trying to eliminate here? The right thing to do would be to get something from these sessions, right?

“I’ve never clicked with any of the therapists I’d go see,” I say, repositioning myself on the chair to hide the anxious body language I always adapt in therapy sessions. “So I’d just stop going.” 

Dr. Reyborn nods her head as she scribbles onto her notepad. She takes a small breath before looking up to me with a warm smile and continuing.

“Okay. Well, what I offer here is deep submersion therapy. It’s an effective form of treatment for children who’ll only be in the program for a short period, as opposed to seeing a therapist for several months or years.” She says in a tone that shows she’s been reciting it for years. “We move at a fast pace, but visit any and all factors contributing to your current psyche. After a few sessions, we should be able to develop a plan of action. We’ll put it into effect during your stay here, and once we see that your coping mechanisms have improved, hopefully start talking about getting you out of here with some outpatient recommendations!”

I nod my head, though it's a lot to take in.

If I didn’t like level one, slow paced and non-submersion therapy- how the hell am I supposed to handle this?

She leaves quite a few moments of silence to help let me try to process all of that. She wasn’t playing about that fast-paced bullshit though, because after that she immediately dives right in.

“I want to start by asking why you’re here?” she asks, lowering her clipboard to the desk in front of her. “What made your parents or guardian send you here for treatment?” 

That answer is easy, but I can’t help myself from trying to think up a nicer way to put it. That’s probably one of Jena’s problems in therapy; she lies.

I’ve got to be honest if I want any shot at getting some help, and I need help before going back to the Golds.

What if this woman is so expensive for a reason? Maybe she really could help me…

“I uh... I snuck out of my house and got into some drugs.” I say, unintentionally, but rightfully sounding embarrassed and ashamed.

She nods again, notating something quickly as she goes on.

“Right. I see here that you ran almost 3,000 miles from home! And that over 10 different drugs were found in your system when you were taken to the hospital!” She says in almost disbelief. “Why go that far to get into some drugs? And while pregnant? What was happening in your head?”

Well, that’s a pretty loaded question, but I think I have a solid response. I was slightly aware of what Jena was doing when she made me leave California; Only after the drugs were involved did intentions get a little hazy.

“I think a part inside of me just... missed home. Her home. Everything in California with Hayden: the new family, new rules, a boyfriend just having a baby with another woman and blowing me off for her…” I say, taking a moment to choose my words. I try to explain exactly what I was going through my mind at the beginning of that downfall. “I freaked out and ran away… to the only other place I know. I knew it would be crazy, but… it was more of a comfort than Hayden’s life at the time.”

Dr. Reyborn nods understandingly, again jotting something down on her notepad as she responds.

“What about the drugs?” She asks bluntly, though with little pressure attached to it. “What was the mindset there? Why... 13 different drugs in that amount of time?”

A pit forms in my stomach thinking about it. I know that it’s the burning question on everybody’s mind; were my intentions to try to kill the baby? Myself? Am I really that sick of a fucking human?

“I got tricked into taking something... by a friend who doesn’t really care for my pregnancy,” I say before I beat myself up too hard for what I did. “At that point, Hayden was gone. She knew she shouldn’t have gone in the first place, but Jena was stronger...”

Dr. Reyborn still nods and notates, but now a look on interest appears across her face as she continues. 

“Tell me about this friend?” she requests.