Jenalyn: From the Inside (#3) [Complete]

Chapter 20: Gage

Monday, 8:52 A.M. PST

Ty is having a hard time getting into the swing of things; We should have postponed this meeting until after he’s had time to deal with it. He always gets in a funk when he’s having trouble with Hayden.

I‘m still in shock because that shit happened... what the hell was she thinking?

He lights a cigarette and sighs as he exhales. I can tell he’s still got all that baby daddy business on his mind, and though I don’t blame him? I also don’t know what to do about it.

“How do you like the song so far?” I ask after a few moments, deciding that being a distraction is probably the best that I can do. It’s probably the only thing I can do!

He doesn’t process my question until after a few moments of sifting through his mind. 

“Oh, it’s cool! I’m digging it!” he exclaims distractedly after a second. “I like it! I’m just-“

He cuts himself off to flick his cigarette and turn to me.

“What the hell am I supposed to do, Gage?” he asks after a moment. “All shit aside, you love her too… what would you do if she did that to you?”

The question takes me off guard. 

Let’s be honest, my relationship with Hayden is no secret to Ty. He’s known I’ve wanted her since before they even got together; It’s probably something we all ignored to keep the comfort.

“I uh- I don’t know?” I stutter, pulling the hat from my head to rustle my hair. “You guys have your own thing going on there. I can’t just-”

He sighs and cuts me off. “C’mon Gage! I’m asking for your fucking help!” he says as he flicks his cigarette across the parking lot of the studio. “I’m not fucking stupid, you have the same shit going on with her I do; You just don’t get the title!! Does she lie to you like she does me? Bet not!” 

I try to process his words, but he’s rambling at this point. He’s emotional, it’s understandable! But I did nothing for him to be coming at me!! 

“I’m not in a relationship with Hayden, Ty,” I state calmly, just in case any part of his mindset has to do with the fact that I’m in love with her. “We’re barely friends anymore, honestly... I’m not sure what you want from me.”

Ty rolls his eyes as if the answer is obvious. I really don’t know what he wants though! Hayden and I hardly talk since everything went down that day in the kitchen!

The thought of that day pulls at my chest, but it also sends a swarm of thoughts racing through my mind. How she kissed me... The way she pressed herself into my body and told me that maybe she should have chosen different…

Those thoughts distract me in a way that’s probably inappropriate considering my current situation, but the part of that day that I hate to think about instantly pulls me back to the now.

The part when everything fell apart.

“This...” I told her, pulling away from her as I realized what I was doing, and how fucked up it was. She’d just told me it wasn’t who she was to leave my brother for me. “This isn’t who you are, Hayden! It’s not who I am! I’m sorry I-“ She started to cry, cutting me off while my heart sank into my stomach. 

I didn’t want her to cry, but I couldn’t bring myself to accept that leaving Ty for me wasn’t who she was- but that fucking me while he ran out to the store was.

“It was definitely me. This is definitely me, Gage! This is who I am!” she told me. She rushed off, saying nothing else, and leaving me to myself and the billions of thoughts and emotions the whole interaction had brought on.

Why would she say that? 

Am I supposed to tell my brother that the girl he loves might have openly told me she’s a cheater? And kind of gave off a vibe like she was resigned to it?

“I just don’t know what to do, bro...” Ty sighs, almost in synchronization with the voice in my head telling myself the same thing. He turns to me, his face serious but with a hint of defeat. “You love her, Gage... I’m completely aware that you do. What would you do if you were me and she was cheating on you? What would you do if she was using while pregnant with your child?”

I go over everything in my head again, sitting with the knowledge I have, and the feelings that still manage to creep up on me when I think of her.

I understand how he feels inside because although I shouldn’t, I guess I kind of feel the same way. 

Taking a deep breath, I decide to just be honest. It’s what he’s looking for, and though it’s a little uncomfortable for me… it’s my little brother, and he’s asking me for advice.

“I’d... figure it out, and work through it, I guess?” I mutter uncertainly, though I think my mind is pretty certain. “She must be a witch or something! I can’t see that being my response for any other female... but Hayden? I’d try to work it out, at least… and see where it goes from there.”