Jenalyn: From the Inside (#3) [Complete]

Chapter 83: Hayden

Sunday, 10:22 AM EST

“Are you excited?” Reyborn asks about the news she just broke to me. 

She called me in for a surprise visit this morning; I thought I might have been in trouble. What if Ryan ratted me out to upper management to save his own ass? Maybe Dan?

Nope!

I had no idea these last couple of days here have been my last. I’m in some kind of shock, only because it makes everything I’ve got going on now kind of… pointless.

“I signed the papers this morning,” Dr. Reyborn fills the silence after realizing that I’m unable. “It’s been up in the air for a few days now, but I think you’re ready! And your family thinks you’ve been doing great!”

Well, shit… I’ve got mixed emotions about this.

I mean, this place sucks. I didn’t want to be here in the first place! But considering everything that I’ve got going on, leaving seems nothing more than an inconvenience!

What am I going to do about Ryan? Evan? Ren? Sarah?

I don’t even get to stick around to bask in Ren’s absence that I caused!

“You told my family already?” I ask, more so to fill the space than anything. “They’re okay with this?”

Dr. Reyborn nods. 

“I did,” she says matter-of-factly. “They’re very confident in your recovery based on the notes that I’ve discussed with them. I also discussed your diagnosis with them when they came for a meeting. We have further treatment planned for you, but you’ve taken all you can from this place!”

That’s such a surprising observation for a professional to make… Am I that good of an actor? I don’t feel ready. I thought I would have more time to get back on track after bringing Jena out…

I’m not ready to fight with her out there. Jena will not take well to the amount of control Hayden would need to keep up that life.

I’m not ready to face Ty, and come to terms with what he did to me in person.

I’m not ready for the crazy rules Mama G will lay out for me because I messed up…

I’m not ready!

“Hayden?” Dr. Reyborn asks, pulling me from the panic that settles over my mind. She stares at me wearing a look of concern. “You seem distracted; Is this the wrong move for you? Do you need more time with us?”

I want to shrug my shoulders, but I can’t.

I can’t do anything besides sit here in shock as a hundred voices swirl my mind, fighting for the chance to talk for me.

“No, it’s great news!” one voice forces from my lips without my consent. It turns the corners of my lips up into a smile too. “I just wasn’t expecting it, that's all.”

Reyborn laughs; I feel like I’ve never heard this woman laugh before.

“Well, I wish you all the best Hayden!” she says after a moment, clasping her hands together on top of her desk. She offers me a warm smile. “Make sure you follow up with one of our outpatient programs, okay? We’ll work with your schedule!”

I nod my head, telling her that I’m sure it’s on Mama G’s agenda.

Dr. Reyborn rambles on about the program for a few moments before closing up our appointment. I can’t focus on anything she says.

I was just about to let my guard down here…I could have gotten treatment rather than deal with Ren and Jenalyn’s bullshit. I could have gotten better so that I can live up to everyone’s expectations for me after getting out of here…

Instead, I’m leaving.

I’m leaving having done all of this, and for what? To cancel the plans? Call it off, and just hope Ren won’t try to sell me out if I’m not here?

Ugh.

My mind is crumbling around me.