Jenalyn: From the Inside (#3) [Complete]

Chapter 84: Hayden

Sunday, 11:26 AM EST

Sarah hasn’t spoken to me much since I made it my goal to “befriend” Ren. I didn’t mean to shut her out in doing so; it was just hard trying to juggle both Hayden and Jena’s wants.

“You’re leaving already?” she asks, running up to me as soon as I enter the community room.

I guess the nurses broke the news to everybody already. Dr. Reyborn told me that staff would throw me a small going away party, but I didn’t know the news would spread that fast!

I nod my head at Sarah, winking as I tell her that I’ll visit as soon as possible.

Her face doesn’t turn up into a smile like I expect it to. She’s still upset with me because of everything that happened with Ren…

“Oh…” Sarah says as she shrugs her shoulders. She averts her gaze from me, to the nurses setting up for our music session later. “Well, It’s sad I didn’t get to know you better. I thought you liked me when you first got here, so I made these questions in case you would let me have them to remember you…”

She holds out her hand, revealing a pink sheet of paper folded into an origami heart. On the top, “Hayden Gold, my idol” is scribbled amongst a bunch of hearts.

I feel terrible. She thought I liked her?

“Aw, Sarah!” I exclaim, reaching out to embrace her before remembering the stupid PDA rule here. “Why did you say it like that? You’re my favorite person here!”

Sarah shrugs, still unable to change her face from the borderline frown she’s held on it since she started talking to me.

“No offense, but you got really mean and gross after a while…” she says with reluctance in her voice. Her big brown eyes stare at me in disappointment. “You were following Ren around like some kind of puppy dog!”

Ouch.

I don’t let the shock that washes over me show on my face. I guess at some point; I realized that I was going to have to explain my actions to Sarah. Now that the time has come? I have no idea how to do it.

She’s 9. 

I can’t tell her about how I slept with Evan because Ren said she was, only to find out that she wasn’t. I can’t tell her that I was only Ren’s friend to find out where she was most vulnerable. I can’t tell her that I’ve rejected treatment to engage in childish games…

I can’t tell her anything.

“Well,” Sarah says after a few moments, letting out a small sigh. She shoves the origami heart containing her questions into my palm. “Here are my questions, and a drawing I made for you. You don’t have to answer anything, or even keep the picture… I only gave it to you because Ella called me a chicken.”

She runs off before I can do or say anything else. I’m left staring at her origami heart, feeling like a piece of shit.

I let her down… she adored me, and I ignored her.

A lot of thoughts race my mind as I stand here. One stands out among the rest, making it impossible to ignore.

The plans are still on… I think to myself, shoving Sarah’s note into my pocket. I have to get rid of Ren for Sarah’s sake!