Coffee

Chapter 49 Inmate

I peeled off my sweat-soaked shirt and tossed it across the cold, concrete ground. I let my body slump against the freezing wall, and I didn't even shift positions even when my back started acting up again.

I was exhausted.

"Hey Kook, you got any coke left over for your boy?" My inmate asked me scowling at the shirt that landed a couple inches in front of him.

I ignored him. I'd told him  just yesterday I'd given up that lifestyle. I needed to be good if I was going to get out of here again.

Damien stood up and walked towards me "I know you heard me bitch."

He was exceptionally bigger than me, scarier than me, and rougher around me. People around here respected him, he still had connections inside the cell, and outside. And he was persistent on making the pretty boy (me) his bitch.

I wasn't intimidated, or interested in the gay thug.

"No."

"What Kook? Speak up, I don't like mumbling you know that."

I looked him in the eyes "No Damien. I have no connections, and absolutely no drugs and it's going to be that way for a while because I'm getting out of here."

Damien grabbed  a fistful of my undershirt, raising me so I was eye to eye level with him.

"You're not getting outta here Kook. And I tell you when you're done dealing my portion, ya hear? Remember, you get your hands dirty, so I don't have to."

I pushed his hand off, I dropped to the floor.

"Can't, someone's waiting for me."

Damien laughed his deep, mocking cackle; spit flew out of his decaying mouth in ribbons.

"Oh you got family? Yeah I bet a pretty bitch like you's got lots of family. Prolly a daddy who gives you whatever your spoiled ass wants, and a mommy who accepts yo gay ass too." He laughed again "You just lucky Kook, my family kicked my gay ass out. But my momma, the day I get out I'm going to blast a hole through her face. So we've all got people we need to see Kook. But who says you get to see yours before me?" He shook his head with his dumb smile plastered over his face "Nah, I don't like that too much Kook."

I shook my head. "I'm just sorry for you Damien." Some people just break, and remain broken.

He backed up "That's what they all say."

I sighed a breath of relief and I dug my hand into the side of my pants. Once my fingers felt over a rough paper I pulled it out and unfolded it, smiling at the image on the paper.

My family I had written on the back of the photo. It was a worn out picture of myself seven months ago the day we celebrated a thank you to Soelhyun for all that she had done for us. I looked at Jimin and Jhope's smiling faces. Jimin had taken the selfie. And then there was Soelhyun and I, she had her arm around my shoulders and she was smiling but I knew she was actually laughing at a comment I made and Jimin had caught her at a good time.

Yoongi was in the back, he was on the way out but he had stopped to look at all of us taking a picture. I noticed a longing in his eyes, as if he was sorry for everything he'd ever done to my family.

I shoved the picture into my pants quickly when the cops came around and I pretended like I was sleeping. Only a couple more months till I would be out of here, then I could see them again.

I thought about if Soelhyun would forgive me though, I had told her some bullshit about how I couldn't stand her but I don't think I'm the best actor because she didn't seem convinced at all.

However, it must've worked. She hasn't come around at all, and RM sent me a letter letting me know he successfully relocated her.

I sighed. I should be thankful she's safe but, my selfish thoughts took over. I wondered if her "new life" included me in it. Probably not, I mean, Soelhyun was free and innocent and I could ruin her. I never should've involved myself with her in the first place but I just thought I could change for her. People like Soelhyun make you feel like you can do anything and the fact that she felt safe around me gave me a purpose again.

But no matter how much I wanted to change things, this is how it should be. People like me don't belong with people like Soelhyun, and I need to make the decision in a couple of months if I'm going to continue tainting her life to entertain my feelings.

She finally gets to start over, and I don't want her to bring back old worries. Regardless of how I feel, I'm holding her back; and I'll have to figure out how to move on.