Bloom in the rain

Ep 5. Scars - scared

Leave me alone, I'm trying to grow my self for the better of everyone

I'm not the person I was 8 years ago, or 3 years ago or yesterday, I grow everyday like a flower

I just need you to water me, because I've been starving for years and it seems like you don't care about me
But like a flower depends on water and sun

I still depend on your love and change, I depended on you for everything and you continue to shade me from the sun I need to be in to survive

Maybe I wasn't suppose to be a flower.

Maybe, maybe I was suppose to be a tree, because it feels like everyone depends on me for the air they breathe, but I can't handle it.

I can't do this anymore

I'm tired, physically, emotionally, and mentally.

I won't lie,

If I didn't have our baby I wouldnt be here

I would've ended it because I can't seem to let go of your grasp of 'love' and that same grasp is leaving me breathless and hopeless

I continue to live because of someone else,

I'm not living for me anymore, I'm living for the fact that I can't have my child go through what I went through years ago and end up in the cycle I had to go through

I'm here for her, and only her.

And since I'm only here for her. I won't let you take me away from my only reason of living,

Because of you take water away from a flower

And sun from the trees

And the rain down the world

We crumble down, and I don't think I have the power to get back up.

"Who was that nigga jordynn!" Lucas's voice boomed through the bedroom holding jordynn against the bedroom door against her will

She cried.

All she could do was cry, he wouldn't let go of her even when she fought back, so she decided not to anymore

"Who was he!!"

"He's no one! Lucas let me go! He gave me a ride!"

"Yea?! A ride?! You expect me to believe that shit huh?" He asked getting all in her ear making her flinch "a ride?. You think I'm dumb or something? What was y'all doing out so damn late?!" He pulled her away from the door and threw her to the ground making her cry even harder and groan, she hit her head on the wood floor 

"Who was he?!" He yelled again standing right above her "He was just giving me a ride! " she cried loudly

"He's a friend! He's just a friend!" She pleaded not looking up st him

"Just a friend huh? Why was y'all out so late"

"The car bro-"

"Speak up bro! I can't hear yo ass when you looking down and shit!" He bent down roughly grabbing her chin and pulling her face up staring into his eyes as her face was filled with tears