You're Not Alone

Chapter 24

Clarke's POV

„Clarke. Tell us. Now." Octavia crossed her arms.
„I-"
„Is it something that Lexa did? Did she hurt you in some kind of way? Or did you just had argument or what?" Raven added.
„No she would never hurt me." I shook my head.
„Well it's kinda obvious that she regrets something. She doesn't even dare to move when you're around." Octavia continued.
I noticed it too but I didn't really care that much. She scared me and I didn't want her around really. That's what I wanted to think.
„We're your best friends. You can tell us anything." She reassured me and placed her hand on my leg.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a second.
„Basically, I yelled at Lexa for controlling me and stuff that I didn't even mean. She just didn't want me to do something I might regret, she thought I had enough of alcohol. And she was right. She saw me and Finn making out. I didn't mean too I was drunk. That's why I didn't go to school the day after." I sighed when I finally let it out.
„Wait wait wait, hold up." Octavia stopped me while she was shaking with her hands in the air.
„You seriously made out with Finn?!" Raven continued instead of Octavia.
„And that's not the worst part." I sighed.
„What do you mean?" They both raised their eyebrows with scared face expression.
„I ran after her and she said I need to figure out who I love the way I should. She said we're just gonna act like friends until I figure it out." They nodded.
„The next day I stayed at home and she came over so I didn't have to be alone. I asked her to drive me to Finn's house that I wanna talk to him. She did and that's the worst decision I've ever made."
„What did he do?" They both asked in unision with eyes wide open.
„He- He umm..." They stopped me and nodded as sign that if Im not ready I don't have to say it. My eyes started to fill with tears.
„He raped me." Tears were streaming down my face at this point. They both just stared at me in shock.
„Oh my god Im so sorry Clarke." They pulled me into a hug.
„But what does that has to do with Lexa?" Raven asked confused.
„When I wasn't coming back in a long time she went inside. When she entered his room she froze for a while at the sight but she pushed him off with so much anger. I've never seen her like that before. She beat him up, blood all over his face was the only thing you could see. She scared me. Im still scared of her." I sobbed.
„Oh Clarke. He got what he deserved." Octavia stroked my hair when she pulled me in a hug again.
„She just tried to protect you. Lexa cares about you. She didn't want to scare you and you know it." It only made me cry more. I knew it was true.
„I need some space from her for now." I really wanted to feel her embrace right now but I kept lying to myself.
„Damn. She really respect everything you tell her. She seriously isn't even breathing when she's around you." Raven said.
I pretended to do something I thought was smile.
„Let's take your mind off of it." She placed her hand on my shoulder.
„Shopping!" Octavia squealed.
.
.
.
„Here is your coffee." Octavia handed me one and sat down.
„Guys. Isn't that Lexa?" Raven tapped my shoulder and pointed at brown haired girl sitting with her back turned at us.
„Do you know how many girls have brown ha-"
„No no. Look. It's Lexa. Costia's right in front of her." Raven cut me off.
Shit. This is the last thing I wanted to happen right now. With that Costia waved at us and both Indra and Lexa turned around. I noticed the fear and sadness all over Lexa's face.
They were whispering something for a while and pulling Lexa's sleeve but they approached us eventually.
„Hey guys!" Costia squealed.
„Hey." Indra said too.
„So you're that magic resource of Lexa's hot pics?" Octavia smirked at Indra then at Lexa who was just standing in the back shyly, rubbing her hand nervously.
„Yep. That's me." Indra said proudly and Lexa gently punched her.
„Hey Lexa." Raven said softly.
Lexa looked at her carefuly and gave her a weak smile.
Octavia turned her face back to me and gave me stern look.
„Hey." I looked at Lexa and she immediately looked at me with eyes wide open in shock that I actually said hey.
„Hey." She sad shyly and smiled a little.
Raven squeezed my hand under the table and let out a silent squeal, loud enough for me to hear.
„We wanna invite you to Ontari's party on friday. She expects you all." Costia explained.
„Sure we'll be there!" Octavia said excited.
„Cool. I'll text you for more details later." Raven and Octavia nodded, I just kept staring in Lexa's eyes.