Reckless and Brave

XLI. Hey You (Part I)

[All Hell Breaks Loose: Part Two]

Dean and Holly sat next to Sam's body.

Bobby walked in with a bucket of chicken. "Dean? Holly?"

Dean shook his head. "No, thanks. I'm fine."

Holly shook her head, feeling like she wasn't able to eat without being sick.

"You two should eat something."

"I said I'm fine." Dean retorted.

After a moment, Bobby said, "Dean...Holly...I hate to bring this up. I really do. But don't you think maybe it's time...we bury Sam."

"No." Holly and Dean retorted.

"We could--" Bobby sighed, "--maybe..."

"What? Torch his corpse? Not yet." Dean answered.

"I want you two to come with me."

Holly glared at him. "We're not going anywhere."

"Dean, Holly, please."

Dean frowned. "Would you cut us some slack?"

"I just don't think you should be alone, that's all. I gotta admit--I could use your help."

"I'm not alone. I've got Holly."

"Something big is going down-- end-of-the-world big."

"Let it end, then!" Holly cried and Dean nodded.

"You don't mean that."

Dean frowned. "You don't think so? Huh? You don't think we've given enough? You don't think we've paid enough? I'm done with it. All of it. And if you know what's good for you, turn around, and get the hell out of here. Go! I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please, just go."

Bobby pursed his lips. "You know where I'll be." He turned and left the motel room.

Dean looked at Sam's body and a tear fell from his face.

"D, what do we do?" Holly asked.

Dean ignored her and looked at Sam. "You know, when we were little--you couldn't have been more than five--you just started asking questions. How come we didn't have a mom? Why do we always have to move around? Where'd Dad go when he'd take off for four days at a time? I remember I begged you-- "Quit asking, Sammy. Man, you don't want to know." I just wanted you and Holly to be kids. Just for a little while longer. I always tried to protect you...Keep you safe...Dad didn't even have to tell me. It was just always my responsibility, you know? It's like I had one job...I had one job...And I screwed it up. I blew it. And for that, I'm sorry. I guess that's what I do. I let down the people I love. I let Dad down. I let Holly down. And now I guess I'm just supposed to let you down, too. How can I? How am I supposed to live with that? What am  supposed to do? Sammy. God. What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do?!"

He got up and dried his eyes. "Stay here, Holly. Okay?"

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going for a drive. I'll be back soon, okay?"

Holly nodded and hugged her brother. "I'll just wait here then."

A short while later, Sam's eyes shot open. He sat up on the mattress and looked around in confusion. "Holly?"

"Sammy! Oh my God!"

"What happened?"

Holly tucked her hair behind her left ear and tilted her head to the right; her tell, and smiled. "Nothing. How are you feeling?"