spiderson and the avengers oneshots

"How the hell did you get in the tower!"

Stuff to know: this is not a spideypool ship one-shot. Its more of a cool uncle and awkward nephew relationship.

Peter's POV

I woke up this morning, and immediately knew something was off. My spidey sense didn't pick up a threat, but I could tell something wasn't... correct. I lived with Tony in the tower, and some of the avengers, so if there was any real threat we could easily take them down, but I had that feeling. I walked to the kitchen and noticed a white mug on the island, 'huh,' "Hey FRIDAY, is Mr. Stark awake?" "No, he has fallen asleep in the lab, the only human awake is you, and one unidentified heat signature," "what the hell? How did the other guy get in?" "You're window, Peter," My window the one I use to get in and out of the tower when I am in my suit, only Mr.stark and I have a key. "Is the window broken?" "No Peter," I walked over to the coffee mug and saw the other side, a dead-pool logo. 'Oh that makes more sense,' "Wade where are you," silence for a moment but then I heard it, "I'm getting the sense that your gonna be mad at me spidey," he said and jumped out of  the pantry, "So you have a spidey sense two!" I said sarcastically. He laughed through his suit, "So what is it wade," He scoffed at me, "I cant just come see my favorite little spider without wanting something?!" "Wade stop yelling. People are sleeping. So just answer the question, or i'll call a group of people who don't like you very much." 
He gasped dramatically, "5,4,3,2" "okay, okay," I smirked knowing a 28 year old assassin is afraid of me, "I wanted you, my best spider bro, to introduce me to Loki-" "No," "What! Why the fuck not!" "Loki would hate you," I smiled, "No, we are so alike!" "Yeah how?" "Well We both are villains gone good-ish, we are both badasses, and we like you!" I was about to respond before I heard "Wade, what are you doing here?" "Tin-Can! Me and Spider- boy over here were just talk-" I cut in "He broke in," Tony looked up at Wade, "What a shame," he lifted his hand to call his suit, "Did you forget you don't have powers, Tin-Can?" Wade laughed, I just smacked his arm as if saying 'I wouldn't do that'. Wade looked down at me, the fear in his eyes was still obvious, even through his masked face. "You know what I don't want to see this, Im gonna go play cards with Loki," "Oh fuck you pussy," "I wouldn't talk about  my son  like that," I grinned at that word, Tony had just started using it, "Aw, he's your son now-," I walked of hearing, "Ow, Fuck you Stark! Meh!"