Let's Do It Together
"First we're going to make a puncture here," Jeongguk marks an 'x' on the skin to the left of the patient's sternum. "We'll get one of the catheters and a cam inside, and make another cut--" He marks another 'x' a few centimeters below the first mark. "--here."
"Is everyone briefed?" His team nods, and Jeongguk hands the marker to his assistant, looking up at the clock directly across from him in the operating theater.
"The time is 11:52, and we are making the first epidermal incision."
Most people would think Jeongguk mad, but when the man has his surgical tools in his hand, over a patient who needs his help, he's in his safe place.
He doesn't have to worry about himself for a moment, and he can just focus on the body in front
of him. He can solve other people's problems.
That's easy. But he can't solve his own. So in surgery, with the smell of cleaner and new surgical tools around him, giving orders to his team with minimal talking, it lets him take a moment to remove himself from his own fucked up mind.
But today... somehow... it feels different. Maybe because the man lying in front of him, looks so much like Taehyung. Of course... no one could ever come close to achieving that man's ethereal beauty but it was striking too close to home.
He remembers the way he felt when it was Taehyung himself lying on the operating table. He never thought their glorious reunion would be while the older was unconscious and Jeongguk was opening up his chest.
It had been jarring, getting the request. Dr. Lee had called him personally, asked him to take the case, and Jeongguk couldn't say no... He didn't want to raise any suspicions.
His hands had shaken. He almost wanted to throw down the scalpel and leave, because he couldn't handle it. It had taken all his willpower to stamp down the memories, lock them in a box the way they had been for ten years, and put them away.
He had operated on Taehyung the way he would any other patient. He just couldn't look at his face.
He refused to look at Taehyung's face, and distanced himself after the surgery, letting the interns take care of it, because he didn't think he could take it.
Maybe he is, indeed, crazy. No sane human being would agree to work with the person who tore their heart to shreds. And every interaction was proving to Jeongguk that this was a big mistake.
He couldn't keep his damn mouth shut. He wanted to use every opportunity to tear Taehyung down, but now, it was at the expense of his conscience. Jeongguk knew what he was doing was wrong.
Probably making the situation worse. And he isn't even sure what he wants anymore.
"Dr. Jeon, do you want me to put in another line? He's not getting enough fluids."
Jeongguk snaps his eyes up to the assisting surgeon. He doesn't have time to be embarrassed about his sudden lack of focus. He just nods once, and reminds himself that he let Taehyung ruin him once. He can't let Taehyung ruin him again.
_______________________
The wind sifts through the large oak tree, leaves rustling and filtering down around Taehyung and Jeongguk as they sit underneath, lost in their own world.
Taehyung had forgotten how nice the grounds around his house were. He used to climb the trees,"play hide and seek with his imaginary friends, pretend he was a character in a story, the hero of a grand adventure. Then... he had grown up. He had grown bored.
