His heart can rest easy.
Jeongguk lets Taehyung use the bathroom first. Gets him a toothbrush from his storage closet (which could double as a bomb shelter, given how prepared Jeongguk seems to be), lets him shower first.
Its a bit awkward, since they dont talk much, save for a few brief words. Taehyung knows Jeongguk isnt used to this-- someone staying. In truth, Taehyung isnt either. But he doesnt think it should be this awkward.
And now, Taehyung is lying in bed, trying not to seem obvious as he stares at Jeongguk out of the corner of his eye. Never has a bed felt bigger than in this moment, with Jeongguk settling down as far away from Taehyung as possible.
Jeongguk seems to be absorbed with something on his phone, his back turned to Taehyung, and it gives Taehyung a moment to take in the dragon tattoo, taking up the wide expanse of Jeongguks back, as well as to steep in his self-imposed misery.
Because Taehyung wants to cuddle. But hes too afraid to ask.
"Uhm..." Taehyung perks up when Jeongguk clears his throat and turns his head. "Good night."
The words are empty, awkward. Taehyung tries not to think about it too much. He smiles softly. "Good night Jeongguk. Sleep well."
Jeongguk seems stupefied at the last words, eyes flickering with confusion and panic." I-- Okay."
He turns himself away fully, pulling the covers over his shoulders, and thats that.
It takes everything in Taehyungs willpower not to sigh in disappointment. He should have known better than to expect intimacy with a man with an emotional wage of a brick. Biting his lip to keep from making any noise, he turns too, away from Jeongguk, because sleeping facing him seems too pathetic right now.
Taehyung closes his eyes and tries not to overthink-- the fact that Jeongguk wanted him to stay was leaps and bounds beyond what hed hoped for. Jeongguk wanted him, at least to some degree, and that should be more than enough.
Jeongguk wasnt the same, naive boy from ten years ago. He wasnt going to open his heart so quickly. He was a man now, one whod been through a lot, hardening him. He wasnt going to easily give or receive intimacy or trust someone so much. Its almost a miracle that Taehyung was in his bed, right now.
Except that Taehyung longs for Jeongguks touch, still. Like a fool. He couldnt be satisfied, knowing Jeongguk was just a few feet away from him. Taehyung wants to stroke and kiss Jeongguks hair, feel his hands against his skin, feel his heart beat against his hands to know that all of this is real. Not some fantasy that Taehyung had created out of sheer desperation.
Taehyung squeezes his eyes shut, as though that will make him fall asleep faster. But all he can do is think about Jeongguks scent, woven between the very threads of the pillowcase he rests his head on, so heady and strong that Taehyung can almost trick himself into thinking hes in Jeongguks embrace.
If only--
Taehyung hears the sheets rustle, and his body tenses. Jeongguk moves in the bed, and for a split second (one heart-wrenching second) Taehyung thinks Jeongguk is going to leave. But he feels Jeongguk shifting closer-- slowly, like hes trying not to wake Taehyung.
Taehyung feels Jeongguk get closer and closer, until he can almost feel the mans breath against the back of his neck. He senses Jeongguk settling down, resting his head against Taehyungs pillow, so close, but not touching.
Jeongguks fingers brush softly against the back of Taehyungs hair, and he tries desperately not to jolt at the contact. "Sweet dreams, baby," Jeongguk murmurs, and Taehyung doesnt know how he manages to hear it over way his heart thumps violently against his chest.
Taehyung curls his hands into fists against his side, trying to keep himself from turning around and throwing himself into Jeongguks arms. Jeongguk would no doubt be embarrassed, since Taehyung wasnt supposed to hear. He decides to stay quiet for now, and he hopes Jeongguk will open up soon.
Until then, his heart can rest easy.
