I don't love you anymore.
I can't do this.
Things just aren't what they used to be.
What do these statements all have in common? Well that's easy. We are all terrified of hearing them. They are the equivalent to what I assume being stabbed feels like. At first you barely notice and then all of a sudden you are doubled over on the ground screaming for help. I couldn't imagine these words leaving my lips. Locking eyes with Finn and saying these words with nothing but certainty. All I could focus on was don't leave me. I'll do better. I swear I'm enough as we waited for me train.
"Come with me," quite words leave my lips as I look up at the boy beside me. His eyebrows were knitted together as he stares forward at the train tracks his grip on my hand never loosening."I wish I could Jo. You know I wish I could," he sighs turning to look at me. I can't help but notice how glossy his eyes look. There's a pain there. It almost feels as if this trip is a betrayal. Me leaving him when I have promised so many times before I never would. "I love you. This will be good okay and I'll call everyday."
"What if you meet someone else?" I stutter regretting the question instantly.
"Josephine Jennings there will never be anyone as good for me as you. You are sunshine in a bottle you silly girl, and believe me when I say distance will only make our hearts grow fonder but your sister needs you more than I do right now so I must not be selfish." Finn kissed my forehead then the tip of my nose and finally landed on my lips. I never wanted to part from him. I wanted to lay him across this bench right now despite the many people around us and have him ravish me until I cried out his names so loudly the heavens heard me. "We will plan a wedding when you come home. The perfect wedding. You'll be dressed to the nines and I'll be crying tears of joy at the sight of you."
"I don't need anything fancy. Just you and I and the people we love." I crawled on top of him lacing my legs around his waist. "How many times do I need to tell you you're enough for me Finn. Always have been."
"One more time please," he laughed as we heard the train nearing.
"You're enough for me Finn Shelby. I bloody love you!"
—
Paris was beautiful. Walking the cobblestone streets almost made me feel like I was in a dream. Somehow the air smelt fresher and my mind felt clearer. Dorothy seemed to slowly be getting her mind together. She began to drink less and sleep more. Frances' things were all packed and either ready to donate or take back with me to small heath. It was a bittersweet feeling walking around Frans flat without her. Every inch of the small home screamed Frances' from the horrendous mustard yellow chair to the strange floral curtains. It was quirky and a little hard to wrap your head around, but at the same time it was beautiful. Fran was beautiful. Not only in looks but in personality. I knew for certain no one could ever replace her in our lives."I think I might stay here a bit longer," Dot told me as we sipped our afternoon tea. "I didn't have much in small heath and I've met a very nice man here. He's made me feel whole again."
"Will you visit us? Beth's baby is almost here and I'm due to be married." My voice cracked at the thought of her not being with us for these milestones. Most of our lives we were all attached at the hip and now without Fran it felt as if we were a group of strangers who just so happened to share the same lady name.
"Of course Jo." Dot shook her head. "You're my sisters I wouldn't want to miss any of that, but without Fran that's no longer my home you must understand that."
"I do understand. It's just..." I shake my head. "Finn and I are expecting and I want to make sure you get to meet him or her. I can't do it without you Dot you know that."
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More hearts then mine - Finn Shelby
FanfictionMy mind knows that this is all pretend, but lately my heart can't tell the difference.